eXistenZ

I stole this from Corbeau, but it was created by Polter-Cow. Cheers guys!

1. What is this survey’s name? eXistenZ. I’m watching it at the moment

2. What is this survey’s quest? To explore strange new diaries. To seek out new life and new civilisations. To boldly go where no survey has gone before!

3. What is this survey’s favorite color? Puke

4. How many roads must a man walk down? 42. Read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

5. Do you even know what rhetorical means? Is this rhetorical?

6. Okay, let’s get down to business. Is this family business?

7. In ten words or less, describe the very reason for your existence. Life.

8. When you were in elementary school, what did you do during recess? Football or British Bulldogs. Or a game we invented involving throwing tennis balls at each other. (Honest)

9. What number am I thinking of? Fish

10. Does this survey really have a point? Yes.

11. You’re already tired of me, aren’t you? No.

12. Okay. Cokey

13. WHO WOULD WIN A FIGHT BETWEEN…

Hitler and Jigglypuff? Hitler.

Tyler Durden and Papa Smurf? Papa Smurf

Muhammad Ali and Braveheart Bear? Ali

Vlad the Impaler (the Battlebot) and Vlad the Impaler (the Impaler)? Impaler.

You and me? You. Cos I’m a wussboy.

14. What kind of survey questions do you like best? Stupid ones.

15. Do you like this survey question? Yeah. I guess

16. How about this one? Not sure. It might grow on me

17. What was Ani DiFranco’s mother’s father’s father’s mother’s maiden name? DiFranco. It’s an inbreeding thing.

18. What did Emperor Hirohito have for lunch every day during World War II? 5 gold rings, 4 calling birds, 3 French maids, 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.

19. What did General Lee have for lunch every day during the Vietnam War? Hot dogs and coke

20. How many fingers am I holding up? Ummm, turtle

21. How many times have you had sex in the last sixty seconds? None

22. How many times do you plan to have sex in the next sixty seconds? About 40. With different girls. Who are not actually here…

23. What are you wearing? Tin foil.

24. You know what this survey needs? To see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of Oz.

25. Why is a raven like a writing desk? Pass

27. What happened to 26? It’s sulking.

28. How much of your life have you wasted on this survey, when you could have been doing one or more of the following:

–curing cancer

–feeding the homeless

–bringing about world peace

–getting Buffy back on The WB

–sending Sunil money?

365 days.

29. Should Polter-Cow write any more surveys? Yup. But then, I should write more surveys.