The real rules

A lot of people think they know the rules. What they don’t know is that they are wrong. I have obtained a copy of the real rules and would like to present them to you now:

1) The male has exclusive rights to all remote control units.

2) Meals will be provided at three minutes notice for however many friends the male brings back from the pub.

3) The female will familiarise herself with the rules of rugby, cricket and football and will refrain from asking stupid questions during the game.

4) Also snooker, motor racing, horse racing and darts.

5) The female will not walk on front of the television when emptying the male’s ashtray and refilling his glass.

6) The newspaper is the male’s private property untill he has finished reading it and completed the crossword.

7) The male has not become too fat for his trousers, the female has obviously washed them incorrectly.

8) The female must look stunning at all times to impress the male’s friends.

9) If one of the males friends comments on the female’s good looks, she must stop flirting and apologise immediatly.

10) The male has an instinctive sense of direction and therefore does not require a map.

11) The female is not capable of reading a mapand should therefore keep quiet.

12) Males are genetically evolved to understand everything mechanical, so females should count themselves lucky to be entrusted with knitting needles.

13) The male may not always be right but he is always the male therefore he is right.

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I did not write this. I do not complain when I read the other version of the rules. This is intended to be humerous. If you are offended, do not complain to me. Thank you.