another chemo treatment done and a cool idea

Yesterday was my 2nd to the last chemo treatment. I have had a severe negative side effect from the chemo and my oncologist wasn’t going to give me an infusion yesterday. This is the first time that they didn’t want to give me an infusion. I talked them all into it. I have a very high pain tolerance and I am almost done so he let me!!
The side effect is my finger and toe nails.They are black, purple and red and falling off. It feels like my hands got slammed in the door. I have lost two toenails too.This puts me at risk for infection. I can’t do very many tasks without pain such as buttoning my pj’s and pushing buttons on the microwave. Anything that puts pressure on my fingers. Yes, typing on the computer and playing the piano hurts too. But I can’t stay off the computer!!
I have to avoid any tasks that could potentially harm my nails or get them infected. Like washing dishes, taking out garbage, gardening etc.  I also have to put Vicks vapor rub on my fingernails and toenails at night. I tried it lastnight and it helps. (it is a topical analgesic)
Today starts the diarrhea. Sorry if it’sTMI but every chemo treatment does that to me for 2 or 3 days. I have so many side effects you wouldn’t believe it. The steroids usually keep me up all night but finally lastnight I took a XANAX and 2 Benadryls and it made me sleep all night.
Another thing that I wanted to journal about is the night before chemo I literally cry myself to sleep. I don’t want to wake up on Tuesday because I know I have to go to chemo. John will hold me and be so gentle with me. It feels like I am going to go get run over by a truck. Well, normally the kids are sleeping and Tuesday night Tara heard me. I didn’t want to upset her. John had her climb in to bed with us and we held hands and Tara said a special prayer for me. It was so sweet.
I am going to put together a scrapbook of my cancer journey. Starting with Thanksgiving day when I found my lump. I had put out Great Grandmas china from 1937. It was so beautiful and I took lots of pictures. Then I got my hair cut really short because I knew it was going to fall out. I had surgeries in Dec and Jan and in Feb my neighbor had a hat party for me and we had 37 guests and I got over 50 hats.
All of this needs to be journaled and put in a scrapbook. I will start on this right away. I think it will be healing for me.
I have pictures of the Susan G Komen walk for the Cure.
I will try to journal some of my thoughts and feelings about cancer in this scrapbook. It feels important to me now. Like it’s something I really, really need to do.
The thing that prompted me to do this is because next Tuesday is my last chemo and I was thinking that I need to take pictures of my chemo nurses with me. And my chemotherapy oncologist and radiation oncologist.
Well, I need to get a move on. I’m not even dressed yet.
Please pray for my side effects. That my nails won’t get infected and fall off. Also that my stomach will feel better soon. I’m almost done~#!!