10/05/2009*

•  I’m 37 weeks pregnant!
• Have my home visit from the midwife today. Josh’s mom is going to be here so she can have the chance to meet her before the birth, and to clear up any concerns and have any questions answered. Josh’s mom is going to be there for the birth, but I’m still undecided about when I want to call her during my labor. I’ve asked my long time friend Danie (invisible.ink) to be there to help make sure pictures are being taken for Josh. And because it’ll be nice to have another calm, like-minded person there to combat Josh’s mothers’ natural ability to worry like crazy.
• It’s been 3 months since Josh deployed. 9 months to go…
• Him and I had a really good conversation on the phone today. About things between us, and it wasn’t forced. It just happened naturally. He also made a comment about something he did being a "deposit into our love bank", meaning he’s been reading the book I sent him. (His Needs, Her Needs.) I must admit I’m incredibly shocked that he’s been reading it. I sent it hoping he would, but with no expectations. And he wouldn’t have known that term unless he’s actually picked up the book, opened it and read atleast several pages. Our conversation left me feeling very refreshed about our relationship right now. No, it’s not perfect. But we’re going in the direction we need to be in order to fix things. And it’s been difficult with the seperation, but I think this deployment has been the best thing for us at this current time. I don’t think we could have realised what we both have realised if we were still physically together everyday.

**I had to stop this abrubtly because Josh’s mom walked in, 2 hours early. I was trying to put the boys down for a nap, but that didn’t happen. So now they are being complete terrors. Early bedtime, here we come.

Appointment went well and was uneventful. I see her every week, now. Josh’s mom talked about stuff that made no sense and she has a completely uneducated opinion on everything – so I was just sitting there twiddling my thumbs while she looked like an asshat. =X I love her and she’s been a huge help to me, but I’ve learned to just bite my tongue and look the other way most of the time. So I don’t know how early I’m going to want her to come when I go into labor. -shrugs- She wasn’t talking about anything homebirth related, either, so it was a bit annoying.

Midwife estimated baby to be at 5lbs right now, which i find hard to believe. That would mean he’d only be about 6.5-7lbs if born on his EDD (going back the general rule of thumb that they gain half a pound a week at this stage). She claims that she’s usually pretty accurate, but Basia (my midwife with Xavier) said the same thing about herself and Xavier and he was 8lbs8oz. So… -shrugs- We’ll see.

Josh’s mom also swears I’ll go into labor any day now.  No. I won’t. I’ve gone to my due date with both kiddos, there’s no reason why I wouldn’t do the same with this one. And I can’t go any day now because 1. my last day of work isn’t until the 17th, 2. the boys don’t leave until the 17th, 3. i have pictures with Tinky on the 18th, and 4. I don’t have things ready the way I want them.

I sound bitchy right now, but I’m really not…