It Puts The Lotion On Its Skin

If I am turned into a lampshade tonight, I would like everyone on my faves list to know that I really enjoyed reading your entries and I ask that someone remind my family that I really do want my tombstone to read “Pepperoni and Sausage.”

Okay, so maybe you’re entitled to some backstory. I lost my wallet over the weekend. Some honest person found it and called the “in case of emergency” number that has been taped to the back of my donor card since 2004. Unfortunately the guy who picked it up was heading out of town until late last night so I’ll be going over to his place around 7 to retrieve the license and debit card upon which I’m so dependent. Mechanic* called me this morning to offer a bit of safety advice. Since the guy knows what I look like and has my info, he advised that I ask to meet the guy in a public place or bring a friend with me if I have to go to the guy’s apartment. These are actually wise words that I hadn’t considered. I don’t expect that the guy will be too nuts (he was honest enough to turn in the wallet!), but bringing along one of my badge-toting friends couldn’t hurt. But if he somehow manages to overpower both my ninja prowess and my friend’s police academy training, then I bid you adieu and hope you’ll drink one for me at midnight this coming New Year.

*For those old timers, yes Mechanic is the one who was referred to as "Boyfriend" when this diary was first started. There’s a story that goes along with WHY he was calling me (beyond the fact that he wanted to make sure I don’t get turned into a lampshade tonight), but I’ve run out of time and will have to tell it in another entry.