Footprints on the Soul

“I can’t tell if you hate me or if you’re the only person who ever really got me.” – Erica, Something’s Gotta Give

“Many people walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints on your heart.” – Unknown

I’ve learned that we all desire, whether openly or secretly, a friend or lover who knows us inside and out; someone who understands our quirks and shares our pet peeves. I’ve also learned that none of us have a spiritual twin. We will never meet someone who shares all of our dreams, regrets, sorrows and passions. We may, however, find some who come close. Just recently I met a girl who shares many of my own odd quirks. We drove down Ventura Boulevard giggling incessantly at how often we each declared with wide eyes and a pointed finger, “Me, too!” It seemed impossible that we were so alike. How could I have gone twenty-two years without knowing her? How could it be that she and I were so alike? Had I ever met another whose personality so closely matched my own?

In truth, I have. I’ve had this experience before and likely will again. It was ten years ago that I met, one by one, the girls who would become my support network for life: GlitterSmurf, Gage’s Mommy and Mooskers. Each one of these girls has her own strengths and weaknesses. Each one of these girls holds a piece of my past. It was less than twelve months ago that I met a Midwesterner who shared in my weight loss struggles. From these shared circumstances sprung a friendship I shall forever cherish. Then there is the young man who can tell me he needs me with nothing more than his thoughts. No one outside of my immediate family has been able to communicate with me on such a spiritual level. I am still amazed by the connection we share and only wish we were close enough to meet in person.

Even with the friendships that I cherish so deeply there is not one with whom I can share every detail of my soul. I suppose this is to be expected. Everyone has secrets. I never particularly wanted them, but I have them. Then again, who among us is without the proverbial skeleton in our closets? Knowing that we all suffer from bouts of loneliness and insecurity brings me a sense of stability. I feel I have seen the worst of my days. I know now that though no temporal being may ‘really get me’, I am not alone.

Reading through the countless entries Open Diary hosts you can easily identify the common thread running through us all. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be enough. You will never understand the darkest parts of my soul just as I may never understand what is hiding within your inner shadows. I just wish there was more tolerance for one another in this world. The fact that we are different does not mean we must quarrel. Just because you cannot understand the actions of another does not mean you have the right to judge the person, or even the situation. Please understand that I don’t mean to say that I am free of this sin. I am more judgmental than I’d like to admit and these questions are directed more towards me than to anyone who may be reading this. I hope one day to report that I have risen above pride and prejudice to see everyone in an equal light. I hope one day to be able to forgive others more than I wish to be forgiven myself. I hope one day everyone will have these same hopes.