How to NOT solve the OpenDiary hacker case
As you all know, on September 11th, OpenDiary got hacked and a bunch of people lost their shit. I thought that the OpenDiary master was handling this really well, until I saw the punchline in his joke of an entry:
“In conjunction with the FBIs investigation, I am offering a $10,000 reward for information leading to the successful prosecution and conviction of the person(s) responsible for this crime.”
Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse…
I’ve received several interesting leads from people who think they may know who was responsible for Saturday’s attack. These have been passed along to the FBI, and they will investigate each one carefully. Thanks to those of you who have sent information, and please keep in mind – I am offering a $10,000 reward for information leading to the successful arrest and conviction of the person(s) responsible.
Way to go, ace, you just invited every single asshole on OpenDiary into a free for all.
I already know some great people on this site, several of whom are very VERY good with computers. I am sure these people have made their share of enemies since a lot of people on this site suck. And all I can think of right now is that Bruce has given their enemies an excellent opportunity to sling mud at good programmers they hate by accusing them of hacking a website that even a quadriplegic computer science freshman taking night classes at a community college could break into. The special bonus is that they might even get some extra cash for their bogus tips if the Feds end up wrongly accusing someone.
Hell, at this rate, I might as well lie and say I did the hack attacks myself just for the reward money alone. Let’s completely ignore the fact that I have no programming expertise whatsoever, nor do I have any idea how this system is built and/or designed; at least this way the bullshit investigation would be over, the hacker would continue cracking into this site because he hates the OpenDiary master (probably for a very good reason), and I’d get a free $10,000, which would buy me a lot of smokes when I go to federal prison.
In short, offering a reward for tips from diarists is bullshit. Reward money substitutes intelligent and professional investigation with vigilante justice, bogus tips that go nowhere, and might even get some very skilled and innocent people into trouble just because some impotent bastard with a grudge against someone they will never meet has a score to settle. No one who writes on this site is an Internet Crimes Investigator; those people have way too much work to worry about writing in a bullshit internet diary.
-His Divine Shadow
P.S. On a side note, I noticed that already two noters who have no idea what satire is have already asked me to leave OpenDiary if I am complaining so much about it. And to that I respond: If you think MY diary sucks so much, why aren’t you leaving instead of sending me stupid ass notes? In all honesty, I don’t care about some damn hacker getting into OD – most of my notes and all of my entries are archived.
I don’t think the constant hack attacks lower the quality of this site as much as the dipshits like these who obviously can’t take a joke that isn’t even mine to begin with.
mannn you whine too much. if you don’t like OD, just effin leave. …and come over and bring cookies.
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Hey Chris! Good to see you here again. I think I found your phone number…if it hasn’t changed in the last few months. I’d post it here but you don’t except private entires…email me my love. I need a Divine Shadow fix!
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ha! i should write an e-mail telling him (DM) it was you. then i’d get the money!
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BAH. shhh. people sleepin. people crashin. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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Its strange to me that anyone would consider knocking down an online journal an act of terrorism. Maybe its just me. In reply to your note: The draft rumors are floating about both sides of the political spectrum. It was all started when Charles Rangel and some other guy, a Republican from the Midwest I think, brought forth two different draft resolutions.
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LoL. 🙂
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I couldn’t agree more. Once I read that a reward was being offered, all I could think about was all of the dumb jerks who were gonna flood with their “tips” and “who-dunnit” stories and make everything drag on a lot longer and waste everyone’s time.
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::laughs:: Yea… $10,000 for info… Is a bit high. I think he could have worded it a bit better… Such as a $10,000 reward for the info that LEADS TO an arrest for example? Eh… I dunno. I’m still kinda ticked that I lost a months worth of entries.
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blah blah blah
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DAMNIT!!!! For the last phucking time I did not hack OpenDiary!!! Aaaahhh!!! But….I would like a share of the $10,000 if someone does wrongly accuse me. You would think he would spend $10,000 on a top high security server and ditch the M$ shit. But nooooo, he gets a ROFL firewall as if it will help patch all the holes on this crap Windows box. I just wish he would listen to the younger, smarter people on this site…. Regards,
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*giggles and gives you a random booty dance* Consider yourself honoured – I rarely booty dance for strangers! LOL
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I think he meant that he would give you the award if the person you tipped of was convicted of the hacking?
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*leads you on* Thinking about Cryptic Mauler in this entry, aren’t you?
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How about I turn you in and we split the money, eh?
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Hell, I’d tell them it was you if I got ten grand out of it. I still might, just because it’d be funny.
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Personally I think the 10K should have been used to obtain better security on the servers BEFORE This happened, but that’s just my opinion. Satire…some people have no clue. A little chlorine in that gene pool please!
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The DM sent me $10 when I told him you were the Cracker.
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Im going to turn in myself and claim i havea multiple personality. Do you think they would give my other personality the 10,000 dollars cause my other personality really wants a boob job
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bring it OONNNN.
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and you put RYN for a note I left on someone ELSE’S diary youuuu silly f8cker.
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“I dobbed to the OD Master and all I got was this stupid t-shirt”
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*giggles* Of all the pichers I’ve taken I have yet to take a picher of me booty dancing!! Must get that done actually!!
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But you know DeadManKai, from this site. Am I correct in that? I assumed you two were the same person, as, well, you seem to think alot alike and stupid people tend to piss you both off. Or something. My contact came out. And you had to read that. Hah!
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What I’d like to know is how the Diary Master even got $10,000 to start with.
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The FBI isn’t looking into this, they have more important things to do than worry about diary site that was hacked by some teenyboppers.
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Right on, dude.
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Well then, I’m forgiven for not responding. They’ve expected me to work. I wouldn’t have been entertaining anyway.
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ryn: if that were the case I’d have my little brother run for president, at least then I could kick him in the nuts when he does or says something stupid!
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look asshole, STFU! do you understand what that acronym stands for? you’re worthless. i told you that you’ve been ‘cut off’ (stop lookin at my shit)!
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Why do Jews have such big noses? Because air is free!
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I think the DM is making a pathetic attempt. Who really believes he would give anyone money from his “family savings” anyway? It’s not going to happen, even if someone does aid in the “prosecution of those responsible”. What an effing loser. I’m so glad I don’t use this site anymore. I actually do write in my new blog, I’ll have you know! Smart ass! 😛 Love you, hot stuff!
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for the last time, there was no hacker attack… everyone is just jumping to conclusions because they never saved their last few entries, so they assume it was from a hacker… it was nobody’s fault but everyone for forgetting to SAVE each entry after you are done writing it… bruce is doing a hell of a job and i give him props…
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you get alot of notes, shows that at least one person on o.d is interresting cause im not.
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mmooorrrallls schmorals I’m MOVIN This wEEkend. busybusy.
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ryn: im all for this, idiotic, persay, nobody else would really think of this, that’s why i said so. but hey, i also find it genius in its own way. =) and wow, you really dont have alot of hate notes, lucky you. must mean that deep down, people agree.
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LOL..you have a very good point there, Chris. Hey, I scanned some new pictures (well, not that new, but I figured out how to scan, hehe), so get your butt back here and talk to me! I miss you!! : ( xoxoxxox
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If I give you a link, what do I get in return? 😉 It better be goooood. *lick*
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well seeing as it had to be translaed from italian to english and then to french wasn’t really ironic, since it is the most beautiful to me in italian but the most beautiful to tothers in french, but in other ways someone who knows me might understand, yes, it is ironic. you, on the other hand, may not know me. i don’t know. -sophie
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RYN:I don’t know if looking forward to it is the way I would put it…but at least its another week where I won’t be the only one home with my mother because her problems are really starting to take a toll on me…its not her fault but i’m still having a hard time dealing with it…though lots of family holidays are not my favorite solution to my tedious life…but I guess you take what you can…
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You ass. Next time you rape me with a Sharpie, put the cap on it.
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random noter: Yes, those are all good points. I knew when I saw that message that a bunch of people would be idiots and try to accuse others that they don’t like. Wow. You get a lot of notes.
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I know who did i t i belvie but he refuses to contact me.
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“I don’t think the constant hack attacks lower the quality of this site as much as the dipshits like these who obviously can’t take a joke that isn’t even mine to begin with.” HAHA!! i’ve seen a lot of people bitching about people bitching about OD lately. i mean.. come on!
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