#$@!$%

I’m depressed.  What a way to start out an entry after all these weeks huh?  But it’s the truth.  Don’t get me wrong, I know that I have so much to be thankful for, and in all honestly probably no room to complain about much of anything.  But when it comes down to it… I’m depressed.  It mainly has to do with work.  I’d like to think that if I was no longer working at the job that I’m currently at, I would feel much better.  I remember when I was looking so hard for this job and finally got it, how excited I was.  Oh how times have changed.

I would love to never have to go back to this job again.  I haven’t been looking hard for another job, so that in itself is my own fault.  But I did interview last week with some people that my trainer had referred my resume to.  I haven’t heard anything so far, so I don’t know if anything is going to come of the meetings.  The position that I interviewed for was an Office Manager position.  Basically just keeping the office stocked and helping with travel arrangements and basic office tasks.  I know that I could do the job.  I KNOW I COULD!  But the problem is that I have never had an actual Office Manager position previously.  All of my job titles in the past have been customer service related in some way.  But I want OUT of CS.  I’m not happy with the job anymore.  It’s not a satisfying job in anyway.  I don’t see eye to eye with The Director even though we seemingly have been getting along well.

They finally decided to outsource.  Basically they are going to be keeping their core team in the corporate office, and then The Director and two of her lackeys are going to move down to L.A. in a few weeks and work remotely at a call center down there where they will ramp up during our peak seasons and then mainly work on projects during non-peak seasons.  While I’m interested to see how things are going to change once they leave, I’m still not happy working at the company any more.  I’ve been praying hard for a change in career for awhile now, and saw a ray of hope when I was given the opportunity to interview with those two fellas last week.  Now I just have to wait to see what, if anything, is going to come of it.

I just got a new work computer today.  I’m typing on it right now.  I’m not supposed to have it at home, but I smuggled it out anyway.  I’m thinking I’m going to try to get some QA work done tonight so that I don’t get stuck working actual OT in the office later this week.  I’m not EVEN going to go into that whole subject right now.  QA was my baby when it was first implemented.  Not so much anymore.  I’m pretty much going to step down after I finish QA for this last week.  The stress of it and the lack of communication ABOUT it isn’t worth it for me anymore.  It’s not like I’m really going to gain anything by continuing to do monitor QA.  I’m not going to be the head of QA like I originally hoped would happen.  If anything, she’ll give it to somebody else who is less deserving (in my opinion) and I’ll be left behind yet again.  I’m at the point where all I want to do in regards to my current job is go to work, do the job, and come home.  I don’t want to invest myself into the company anymore because I haven’t gained anything from doing so in the past anyway.

I should be getting ready to go to Cross Fit right now.  And I know I’m going to feel guilty as heck if I don’t go.  But at the same time, that’s where I’m at right now.  I’m so distracted and depressed and just blah about my work situation, that I don’t care about other things right now.  I’m going to regret it if I don’t go though.  I’m going to regret it bad!  I’ve made progress, and I’ve lost some of what I’ve gained progress-wise over the past few days.  I better go.

*sigh*  Now I’m going to be late.  BAH!

***So I’m glad I guilted myself into going to Cross Fit.  It was a fun workout tonight.  We worked out way up to our max deadlift amount in a 20 minute time frame.  At the end of the 20 minutes, I had worked my way up to a 195 lb. deadlift.  HECK YEAH!  I could have lifted more if we didn’t have the 20 minute time limit.  Probably about another 10-15 lbs.  Pretty awesome if I do say so myself.  I ALSO rowed a mile in just under 9 minutes.  Not bad considering how much legs and butt were not wanting to continue.  Last but DEFINITELY not least, I weighed in and found out I broke through the wall that I had been hovering around for the past 3-4 weeks.  I’m down another 3.6 lbs. finally making a total weight loss of 23 lbs since February.  Now I hope I can get that ball rolling again and start dropping those lbs. again!

At least my day has ended on a high note.  =)