Not Going to Ignore Life Anymore

Just a few more days and I will be starting a job that I have no desire to have.  *sigh*  At least I’m not working at the BK Lounge or something like that, but still.  I really would like to have a job in an office setting.  And I especially would like to have a job working for a company that I agree with.  I guess that’s not what is intended for me right now though.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve been sending out my resume like no other.  Nobody is biting though.  Maybe I’m not as great of a catch as I feel that I am.  LOL  Yet I know that I am capable of doing any of the jobs that I’ve been sending my resume for.  You mean to tell me that I haven’t gotten a single call back from any of the places that I’ve been personally interested in?  Not even for an interview?  BAH!  My resume can’t be that bad!  It’s a good resume if I do say so myself.  Maybe that’s the problem.  But I’ve never had problems with my resume before.  Ehh…  Maybe I should just take the hint and realize that it’s out of my hands now.  This is where God intends me to be, and when He is ready for me to move on to something else, He will let me know.

Jacob and I spent the afternoon cleaning the bedroom on Sunday afternoon.  Oy!  I’m glad it’s over and done with now.  We still have a mountain of laundry that needs to be done, but it’s in its own corner away from the rest of the cleanliness.  =)  Jacob put up some shelves as well, and they look fabulous.  I should take some pictures to show how good the room is looking right now.  Like I said before… living with me is like living with a tornado.  LOL  For the sake of not wanting to ever have to spend 3-4 hours cleaning our bedroom again, I am vowing to never let it get that disastrous again.

So last night after Bible study, Dori and I were driving back to my apartment.  She asked me if I have ever just taken my journal and my Bible, and gone someplace all by myself to just sit and reflect and write with God.  It sounds so lovely and exactly what I need to do, but I had to say that I hadn’t actually done that before.  What a great idea though right?  Then it popped into my head that I could never get away with doing what she was describing.  She had mentioned that she had driven to San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, and other places by herself and just did her own thing.  Why can’t I do that?  Oh… simply because I have the most overly protective husband known to man.  Okay… maybe he’s not THAT bad.  BUT I did ask him last night if he ever wanted to do that himself.  Of course he said yes, but then he looked at me and said, "Wait.  Who are you talking about doing that?"  When I told him me, he said, "Oh no.  It’s too dangerous."  AHHHHH!!!!!  How frustrating!!!!  And it’s too the point where I’ve been so protected by him that even I think in the back of my head, "Oh I could never do that by myself.  It’s too dangerous."  And even if I did do something as daring as driving to San Francisco or Half Moon Bay, he would just think that I was going off and being unfaithful or something equally disrespectful.

HOWEVER… since this is my only week where I know I won’t be working, I am going to do SOMETHING.  Not San Francisco or Half Moon Bay.  Probably more like a hiking trail in a park at the foot of the mountains.  I don’t know.  I’m serious when I say that I’ve been so over protected by Jacob that even now I’m personally a coward to do much of anything on my own.  What a pathetic way to live.  Forget that!  I’m taking my camera and am going to do something.  I don’t care if it upsets him to the core.  I’m not going to isolate myself from life and from time with God simply because my husband doesn’t think that I can take care of myself.  Pffft.  I’ll go one morning this week and be home before he’s off work.  Maybe I’ll tell him, maybe I won’t.

Well I’m hungry, so I’m off to raid the refrigerator.