If I don’t write it, its not true!

Disappointment isn’t the word for it. It really isn’t. I want to vent and the person I vent to is the root of the problem right now. Nineteen days from now I’ll probably still be here complaining and that’s not the way it was supposed to be.

Deep down I knew it was coming; especially when he said she was home from the hospital; that was the last nail in the box that locked everything up and I knew it but I didn’t want to believe it. I guess in my head it wasn’t stopped until I actually heard the words spoken and sadly today he said them. I wanted to break down and cry right then I was so angry but I know it is a disappointment for him as well.

I guess I could go to the lake with the family but I’ve been looking forward to the child free break all year and frankly I want my time to myself too. I have to decide what I am going to do in the next couple of days but frankly I don’t want to go to Holland and be trapped with them for 2 weeks although I did ask for their entire vacation off. I suppose I can turn in the time whenever but I should do it earlier rather than later.

If I don’t write his words they didn’t exist, right?