I’m So Done With Tonight.

My Dearest Readers,

I had been working on an entry that I accidentally managed to save over with a blank entry. I’m sorry about my absence as of…well…always. I read posts every single day, I just can’t write one. I’ve been trying so hard to come up with something to write about but it’s just so hard. I think that I might just write little sentences about what I did/who I was with every day…or at least I’m going to try. School is going alright, I dropped one of my classes because I was failing with no chance of passing it, I didn’t need it any way. I’m afraid that if I don’t get my GPA up, I’m not going to be able to get in to the veterinary technology program at Blue Ridge Community College. That’s the only real plan I have for my future as of right now. If for some reason (probably money related) I will try to find a job and work on getting my license. I’m going to ask my mom to take me to the DMV to take the learners test again sometime before this semester ends. I’m really missing high school. College is so so SO much better but high school was much simpler. The days were easier. Time is a funny thing. Nothing else is really going on as far as all of that goes. I cannot wait until the warm weather hits. I’m going to be outside all the time…as much as I can be. I cannot wait, I’m so excited. I hate the cold. I just…I want to be warm again. Peach and I have been talking about how much she likes the winter and hates the summer and how much I like the warm and hate the cold. I thrive in the summertime…It’s when I’m happiest. The only thing I’m not looking forward to is the allergy-sick that comes with it… Speaking of which…My head hurts, just so much. I have either a cold or some kind of sinusy nasty. My nose can’t decide between runny and stuffy…and I’m all congested. I don’t mind all too much, though… I caught this because I was taking care of Nova.

Speaking of Nova…I haven’t talked to him today…barely yesterday..and not at all on Monday. I was over at his house on Sunday. I have no idea what’s going on with him right now… I miss him. I guess I haven’t written about him since I told you we were together, have I? Humm. Well, as far as I know we are all good. Sunday marks 4 months. I’m pretty excited about that. I don’t have the balls to call him this late but I really miss him..I wonder what’s going on. I’ll let you know as soon as I do. Right now I’m just working on suppressing the worry and paranoia that usually surrounds not talking to your boyfriend for a couple days and not knowing what’s going on. It’s sort-of normal for us, I suppose. Either way…It makes me think far far more than I want to about just about everything. I just want to know that everything is okay and anything that is/isn’t, could/couldn’t be, was/wasn’t, and would/wouldn’t be going on is all in my head and that there’s nothing wrong. I think it’s time to change the subject. I’ll tell you what’s going on when I know. I’m sure we are fine. I mean, nothing has really happened as of lately. I miss him. His brother who he hasn’t seen in a while comes home Saturday…I met him once a while back when I was dating Ninja. He’s pretty cool. I’m happy for both of them. His mom’s been borrowing books from me…It’s about time to give her Breaking Dawn to read. Not the last time I was at his house but the time before he handed me his sister’s purple and black stripped stuffed animal and told me that it needed love and to cuddle it. I carried it around all day and he kept smiling at me about it…He’s so cute. Hmm…I love that boy.

I kinda feel like I’m getting on Peach’s last nerve. I’m not sure what’s going on with her right now but it seems like there is a lot of tension between us right now. I’m not really sure what’s going on…I wonder if she’s noticed too. It’s weird. Either way I can’t wait until Saturday! More on that later.I miss Bryar. I’m worried about her. I don’t know if she knows this or not but I spend a lot of time worrying about her. I don’t ask her if she’s okay or what’s going on because I know she isn’t and I know she won’t talk to me. If she wanted to talk to me about anything she knows she can just ask me to shut up and listen. She knows I will. Or I would hope she does. I miss Keel. I hope he’s happy now…And I hope him and Gryzmseph are happy. I really do. I sent Gryzmseph an apology message at one point, but I don’t know if she ever got it. I dunno it was on my mind. I’m pretty sure neither of them read my Open Diary any more, anyway. Ninja and I are back to talking again, I guess I never told you that. 

I have to wake up in a little less than 4 hours. This sucks. I’m so tired but I have too much on my mind to sleep. I dunno..I guess I still have nights where I’m just not okay. Spoiler Alert: This is one of those nights. On a side note, I told you guys I was going to clear out my friends list and I’m still going to, I just haven’t yet. I’m not going to delete you if I know you actually read my entries and if you asked me not to, so no worries. I haven’t noted anyone back about it yet but I did get all of your notes. I don’t write many friends only entries but I may start in the future depending on how things are going. Anyway, Rugrats is on TV, I haven’t talked to Nova, It’s 3:41 AM, I’m tired, and I just want someone to talk to for a little while. I don’t know what’s going on with me right now.  Pretty soon I’m going to go curl up in my room and try to sleep for the next few hours…I’m just so tired. Could someone please explain to me why something always has to go wrong all the time? Never mind, I would really rather not know the answer. You know, I have a lot of different friends on my mind right now..I don’t want to burden anyone with whatever’s going on in my head, I’d rather internalize everything at this point. I used to tell a few people everything but they now have bigger, more important things to deal with than my petty problems. I guess this is what growing up feels like. Hmm. That’s okay. I’ve managed to get by on my own this far, right? No need to bring anyone else down. Maybe my goal for tomorrow is to do something productive. Yes. That sounds like a good idea. Which reminds me…Namey (formerly KB) came and got me earlier and we went up to the grocery store to catch the loose cats there and bring them to the shelter to get fixed and either found homes or released. We managed to catch two. I guess that’s good enough for one day, right? She’s going to go back up in the morning while I’m at school to see if she can catch the other three. I hope that the two smallest ones can be rehabilitated. The older ones may be too feral to be pets at this poin

t. Either way it’s good to have two of them off of the street. Anyway, We got Sal’s pizza and monsters and sat in the parking lot for a good while. Hipster brought me mac and cheese for no real reason today, that was pretty cool. Nothing else happened today. I’m going to go take some night time cold medicine and try to sleep for the next few hours. I hope this little update is enough for now…It probably isn’t. I didn’t really dive in to what’s going on in my head. Oh well. I love you readers! Good Night.

~♥EmieLove♥~
P.S. I miss you.