Oh, Darling, Don’t You Ever Grow Up [[Pictures!!]]

My Dearest Readers,

I have no idea what to write about. There is just a whole lot on my mind tonight. There are many thoughts that I just can’t pinpoint. It’s 4:52AM and I don’t know what’s keeping me up anymore. I just can’t sleep. I thought that I would come here and I would have a whole lot to write about, The truth is that I just don’t know what to say.

I miss Star so much. It’ll be a little more than 300 days until he is home. 10 more months and I can hold him close again. I’m so worried about him. I know that he can handle himself but at the same time I feel like he is just so far from home. I love him with all that I am.

I have been getting in touch with people that I haven’t spoken to in years, it feels good to talk to them again. It makes me wonder who really cares, however.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my past and my future. I remember a lot of things that happened when I was a child. Never grow up by Taylor Swift has been my song choice of the week.

I have a little story for you guys tonight so here goes:

My mother met my father 2 days after she graduated. She was 17. They were together for 2 more years and got married. When my mother was 2 months shy of turning 20 she gave birth to her first wonderful child, Julianne, my older sister. 2 years and 11 months passed and they had their second child, Emilie, Me. 2 years later she gave birth to just one more child, a son, Jonathan, My brother.

Why this story, you ask?

My mom and I were talking about me walking around barefoot and I said "Didn’t you walk around barefoot when you were seventeen?" to which she replied "I met your father when I was 17, I didn’t have time to walk around barefoot."

It makes me think. I will be 18 on the 25th of August. I’ve met someone [Star] Who I love with my whole heart and I firmly believe is the one. It makes me wonder how much like my mom’s life mine will be. I love my mom, but she doesn’t want me to go down some of the same paths as her and I know it. I wonder what she really wants from my life.

I love my mother. There is no one in this world that I will ever love more than I love her. It makes me want to do something super nice for her but I just don’t know what yet. Any ideas you guys?

I guess that’s all I have to offer tonight, It’s not really a whole lot. I’ll include the Lyrics and a Link to the song I was talking about. [[my favorite parts in bold]]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6qutPepOdc

"Never Grow Up"

Your little hand’s wrapped around my finger
And it’s so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you’re dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything’s funny, you got nothing to regret
I’d give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up
Don’t you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up
Don’t you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won’t let nobody hurt you, won’t let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You’re in the car on the way to the movies
And you’re mortified your mom’s dropping you off
At 14 there’s just so much you can’t do
And you can’t wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don’t make her drop you off around the block<br st

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Remember that she’s getting older too
And don’t lose the way that you dance around in your pj’s getting ready for school

Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up
Don’t you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up
Don’t you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one’s ever burned you, nothing’s ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother’s favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It’s so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I’d never grown up
I wish I’d never grown up

Oh I don’t wanna grow up, wish I’d never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don’t wanna grow up, wish I’d never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up
Don’t you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up
Don’t you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won’t let nobody hurt you
Won’t let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don’t you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up

And here are some pictures that Are floating around my computer.

This one is from warped tour on the 25th (No, I’m not touching my crotch.)