No news would have been better news

lordy, it’s been a week. A month. A year.  So much negative packed into a month!  It hasn’t all been bad; I’ve learned things about myself, I’ve surpassed what I believed I could handle, I’ve asked for guidance when I needed it and given some to others.

But monday, I saw the nephrologist and he’s ordered testing, so no answers yet – but I’m working on it. I’ve done all I can do.

Monday i also had my income suddenly, very unexpectedly drop to $0.  Long story short, jess pays me spousal support, and he lost his job – so I lost any financial security.

But im handling it.

And I’m not breaking down, not using it as an excuse to relapse, I’ve jumped into action and although my problems are far from solved, I know I’m doing everything I possibly can, and I’ve just got to let go and let God handle the rest.

If this had had happened six months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to handle any of it. Today I can. I’m grateful for the knowledge, the support, the tools in my toolbox and some kickass people. I may not have it quite yet, but I’m confident that where I’m at today, I will have this.

And OD came back at exactly the right time.