i hate

i hate being alone. i hate being depressed. when will i get my shot of happiness? come to me, wisk me off my feet. let the sun come out and shine on me. let me smile for real. let me be happy for real. i hate being like this. i hate these feelings. i hate locking the car door because i have a sudden urge to jump out of the car even though its going 70 mph. i hate being afraid. i hate being sad. i hate artificial looking people, but even worse i hate that i try to look like them. i hate the world today. i hate the way people are today. i hate the way you look at me. i hate the way i feel about  you. dammit i hate everything. when will i be satisfied? can i just be loved? i hate being so weak. i hate giving in. i hate you. i hate me. i hate her. i hate him.