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“Oh, I feel it comin’ back again,
like a rollin’ thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin’ from the center of the earth again
I can feel it”

Live said it best when they wrote these lyrics from “Lightning Crashes” – it’s always been a favorite song of mine, but I’ve never been able to really apply it to my life before.  Not that I’m particularly thrilled that the opportunity has arisen, though. 

I don’t like this cycle I’ve gotten into.  It’s part apathy, part fear of losing something special, and part slight confusion.  And it’s nothing new – I can’t say I was shocked when I started noticing the signs of it all coming back. 

::smiles::  The date of this entry is so perfectly ironic – fitting and ironic at the same time.  Because it all began 4 years ago, didn’t it? 

Is the third time going to be the charm?  Is that stupid little cliche going to come true for once? 

There isn’t much that I want out of life, I don’t have many demands – which is good, because I’m not so sure how much I’d even deserve.  But I need a good base.  It’s starting to come together, but…

sometimes the minutes are so long and the days so fleeting.

I don’t want this to turn into “Blue” again – I don’t want your stupid tears and the words that you thought were so damn special.  I’m not in that place anymore and I never will be.  This is a new chapter, a new era, practically a whole new person.

But with the same stupid insecurities and addictions.  And without any new knowledge of how this works.  Or at least none that I know about.