Damn you, Corey…

Basics

Your gender:: Not packing heat
Straight/Gay/Bi:: Straight
Single?: Um, kinda sorta, I dunno…???
If not, do you want to be?: –
Birthdate:: May 24th, 1984
Your age:: 20
Age you act:: 24-ish
Age you wish you were:: 21
Your height:: 5’4″
Eye color:: Blue
Happy with it?: Very much so
Hair color:: Light brown/auburn
Happy with it?: Yup
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: Lefty
Your living arrangement:: Mostly Whitewater, a little bit of Janesville
Your family:: Mom, Dad, Michael
Have any pets?: Kibbles and Iggy, my huge kitties
Whats your job?: Counting/thinning, field care, detasseling, pollinating, plant and ear heights, shop work, etc.
Piercings?: 3 in my left ear, 4 in my right
Tattoos?: One on my back – a chain of yellow roses with the Chinese symbol for “rose” in the middle
Obsessions?: Being outside and reading
Addictions?: Creamsicles, Smarties, and chocolate
Do you speak another language?: Si, espanol es la lengua mejor en todo el mundo!
Have a favorite quote?: See the front page of this diary, above the picture
Do you have a webpage?: No

Deep Thoughts About Life and You In It

Do you live in the moment?: Sometimes
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Usually, unless it’s early morning and I’m crabby
Do you have any secrets?: Oh yes
Do you hate yourself?: At times, quite severely, but sometimes I can put up with myself
Do you like your handwriting?: I s’pose
Do you have any bad habits?: Sleeping too much, obsessively calling people, overanalyzing everything
What is the compliment you get from most people?: “You have pretty eyes”
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Phoenix Falling
What’s your biggest fear?: Never being happy with my life
Can you sing?: Yes, fairly well
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Haha, one time, in 8th grade, a bunch of us went to Pizza Hut and pretended to be British, but I doubt we looked cool!
Are you a loner?: I try not to be!
What are your #1 priorities in life?: Making sure the people around me are happy (harder than it sounds)
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Haha, NO
Are you a daredevil?: Sometimes – I have my moments
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: I hate my lack of self-control and my inability to be alone
Are you passive or agressive?: Depends on the issue/situation
Do you have a journal?: Let’s think…mmm, no.  😉
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: Strength would be compassion and weakness would be, as I mentioned before, lack of self-control
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: I’d give myself more of an ability to deal with my life at the current moment and stop living in the past.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: When I have to be, I can be.  That just doesn’t happen all that often.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: There are two things I will ALWAYS regret – one for doing and one for not.
Do you think life has been good so far?: Yes, as odd as that may sound coming from me.

What is the most important lesson you’ve learned from life?: Live goes on – the sun always rises.

What do you like the most about your body?: Eyes and hands
And least?: Tummy/thighs
Do you think you are good looking?: I’m not ugly…
Are you confident?: Once in a while, yes, but overall, I’m rather unsure
What is the fictional character you are most like?: Beth, from Little Women
Are you perceived wrongly?: I s’pose…

Do You…

Smoke?: I have, but it’s a pretty gross habit, so…yeah
Do drugs?: I’ve done pot a few times
Read the newspaper?: When I remember to
Pray?: No
Go to church?: Been there a few times, been invited to go, SHOULD go
Talk to strangers who IM you?: Not really, at least not anymore
Sleep with stuffed animals?: About half a dozen
Take walks in the rain?: Yes
Talk to people even though you hate them?: I really try not to – I don’t need negative energy in my life
Drive?: As much as possible
Like to drive fast?: Fuck yeah

Would or Have You Ever?

Liked your voice?: Singing, yes, talking, not always.
Hurt yourself?: Yes
Been out of the country?: Haha, yes, our little illegal sidetrip into Canada!
Eaten something that made other people sick?: Nope
Been in love?: Very much so
Done drugs?: A few times
Gone skinny dipping?: NO!  I want to go in Clear Lake this summer!!!
Had a medical emergency?: A few – my foot infection, my tummy thing, the back thing, eye surgery
Had surgery?: Eye surgery and wisdom teeth taken out
Ran away from home?: No
Played strip poker?: Hell yeah!
Gotten beaten up?: Nope
Beaten someone up?: Nope
Been picked on?: No
Been on stage?: As much as possible
Slept outdoors?: Yeah
Thought about suicide?: More often than is healthy
Pulled an all nighter?: Welcome to my freshman year in college.
If yes, what is your record?: I think it was 50 hours
Gone one day without food? Yup.
Talked on the phone all night?: Yup.
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: Lots, actually, not to sound slutty or anything
Slept all day?: Haha, yeah, I had an IMT summer the summer after freshman year in high school!
Killed someone?: No
Made out with a stranger?: Yeah, it was nothing special
Had sex with a stranger?: Nope.
Thought you’re going crazy?: I’m there, baby.
Kissed the same sex?: Of course
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: Yuppers
Been betrayed?: Yes
Had a dream that came true?: I don’t think so…
Broken the law?: It’s called Thirsty Thursday…;)
Met a famous person?: Sharon, Lois, and Bram!
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Yes, a kitty and a bunny  🙁
On purpose?: No!
Told a secret you swore you wouldn’t tell?: Maybe one…
Stolen anything?: No
Been on radio/tv?: Yup
Been in a mosh-pit?: A few times
Had a nervous breakdown?: Of course
Bungee jumped?: Yes!
Had a dream that kept coming back?: Yes

Beliefs

Belive in life on other planets?: Absolutely
Miracles?: No.
Astrology?: No
Magic?: No, but I’d love to be Hermione.  😉
God?: Maybe, I have to figure out a lot before I can give a definite answer…
Satan?: No – I love the explanation of this in Phantoms
Santa?: Of course not.
Ghosts?: Nah…
Luck?: No
Love at first sight?: LUST, not love
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: Yup
Witches?: As in point black hat witches?  No
Easter bunny?: Nope
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: Absolutely.
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: No
Do you wish on stars?: If the mood strikes me

Deep Theological Questions

Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: Not at all
Do you think God has a gender?: No
Do you believe in organized religion?: No
Where do you think we go when we die?: Not a freakin’ clue

Friends

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Yes
Who is your best friend?: I have a few different “types” of best friends, so…Corey, Mark, Ani, Val, and Jen
Who’s the one person that knows most about you?: Big s

tuff would be Corey, the little things would be Mark
What’s the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: The sun will rise tomorrow, no matter what (from Scott)
Your favourite inside joke?: Are you in the mood for pubes on boobs?
Thing you’re picked on most about?: When I say stupid things (I didn’t know it was SO horrible to call them baby cows!!!)
Who’s your longest known friend?: Nomers
Newest? Billy/Brian/Tina/Kevin
Shyest?: Mark!!!
Funniest?: Mmm, that’s too hard…
Sweetest?: Rissa!
Closest?: In distance?  At home, it’s Jozie, at school…???
Weirdest?: Everyone!
Smartest?: E
Ditziest?: None of my friends are really ditzy…
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Horton, Naomi, Andrew
Last person you talked to online?: Ani
Who do you talk to most online?: Ani, Corey (well, if leaving him messages counts!), maybe Shawn
Who are you on the phone with most?: Mark
Who do you trust most?: Corey
Who listens to your problems?: Mark, Ani, Val
Who do you fight most with?: No one
Who’s the most outgoing?: Not sure…
Who’s the best singer?: Corey!  🙂
Who’s on your shit-list?: No one currently, not really…
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: ::giggles::
Who’s your second family?: Ani and her parents and sister
Do you always feel understood?: Rarely
Who’s the loudest friend?: When I’m with Kim…:)
Do you trust others easily?: Usually
Who’s house were you last at?: My brother’s apartment
Name one person who’s arms you feel safe in: Corey’s
Do your friends know you?: I’d assume so…
Friend that lives farthest away: My sweet, wonderful Corey…but soon Scott will be in Texas  🙁

Love and All That

Do you consider love a mistake?: No, but I’ve made mistakes in love
What do you find romantic?: The first flirtings…:)
Turn-on?: Flirting, sweetness without oozing, remebering little things
Turn-off?: Exclusion
First kiss?: Mitch 🙂
If someone you had no interest in had interest in dating you how would you feel? A bit bad for them, but…what can you do?
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: A certain amount of knowledge is nice
Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out: I’ve never really worried about that…
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv: No…
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I think so
What is best about the opposite sex?: Their hugs, their hair, the “man line”
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: Can be apathetic and hard to get to the point with
What’s the last present someone gave you?: I think the blue rose from Mark…
Are you in love?: Not IN love, but…oh, it’s complicated, too complicated for this thing.
Do you consider your significant other hot?: Mark’s a hottie, even if he isn’t officially my S.O.

Who Was the Last Person…

That haunted you?: No one…
You wanted to kill?: Scott
That you laughed at?: Michael
That laughed at you?: Michael
That turned you on?: Mark
You went shopping with?: Mark
That broke your heart?: Scott
To disappoint you?: Scott
To ask you out?: N/A
To make you cry?: Scott
To brighten up your day?: My MARK!
That you thought about?: Corey
You saw a movie with?: My parents and Michael
You talked to on the phone?: Mark
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: Ani, I think? Wasn’t this already a question?
You saw?: My rents
You lost?: Scott

Right This Moment…

Are you going out?: No
Will it be with your significant other?: N/A
Or some random person?: N/A
What are you wearing right now?: The coveted blue Nike shirt, white CU long sleeved shirt, and red Dolphin running shorts
Body part you’re touching right now:: None
What are you worried about right now?: The Mark thing, the Scott thing, my depression/cutting, therapy
What book are you reading?: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
What’s on your mousepad? A cute little cartoon scene featuring Einstein Bros Bagels
Use 5 words to describe how you’re feeling:: Exhausted, sad, confused, fat, depressed
Are you bored?: I dunno
Are you tired?: Extremely.
Are you talking to anyone online?: No
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: No
Are you lonely or content?: Both, I guess…
Are you listening to music?: No, because I like to listen to my music loud and everyone else is asleep and I can’t find my headphones