6/1/2004

I’m getting really frustrated with life right now – so many hours with so many questions and no way to answer them.  There are people that want to try, but I can’t let anyone in right now.  I don’t want to be here, don’t want to be alive, but I will stay for them.

It’s not always so bad – it comes in waves, but they’ve been staying longer and longer.  And it’s spilling over onto other people, which is where I have to draw the line.

But I will stay for you.  Because I don’t want to hurt you, even though this hurts me.

Is that so horrible?

P.S. Sunday through now have been some of the most horrible days of my life.  It’s insane.