Falling back
Has this control been just an illusion?
I am going back to therapy – for an eating disorder and other issues.
Should I have seen this coming and run screaming, terrified? Or was this simply how my life was meant to pan out?
I have no control over my life anymore, or so it seems.
What to do, honestly, what to do…
Ya know, the eating disorder makes a lot of sense to me. Not that I “saw it coming” or anything like that, I mean, geez I hardly even talk to you but, you seem to have these control issues. And what goes in and out of your body is something that you CAN control….and so you do…in a kind of obsessive way, am I right? I dunno, I think that therapy is a good way to go, eating disorders are baaad
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And it might also do you good to remember that even though there are zillions of things out there that will just happen spontaneously or whatever, you do make your own choices…and something inside you takes in info from the world, processes it in its own individual way, and then tells you what those choices should be. It would make sense then that the problem lies in the processing.
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And I guess the question is, do we have control over the way we process the world? Well…we definitely have our attitudes. That’s not really EVERYthing, but it helps to be able to look at the bright side of things. As far as emotions go, yeah…they tend to do their own thing. But you can try to not get so bogged down by them. Feelings don’t have to be tidal waves. Try to look more critically
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at the situations/times in your life when you’re particularly overcome with sadness or happiness or whatever, just to see what makes you tick. It might help you fight your first reaction to jump for joy at every small instance of non-misery (which may lead you to think something has improved when actually not) or wallow in depression whenever something bad happens or the mood strikes.
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It will always remain my firmest belief that you HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS. Even if it only ends up helping you 5% of the time. That 5% is more than 0% and it’s at least something you can do all by yourself. Things make sense. They always do. The universe is crazy like that. You just have to be able to see how two and two make four…and you don’t always have all the vital info given to ya
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from the start. But yeah, I hope you end up alright. I have faith that you will. And I’m always online if you need to talk. oxox Lindsay xoxo
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RYN: Anything Goes, i’m just a techie though!-Tim
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