I am legend

I am not sure what I am feeling right now. Besides the total exhaustion from a 10 hour day and the happiness from getting to see Mark and having a good talk, I feel quite blank.

But it is not a pure white and clean blank – it is a dirtied gray blank, more of a messy blur or a Depression-era smudge.

I am still looking for something – but for what? Acceptance? Vindication? Inner peace? My calling?

I am totally unsure right now, merely standing at this precipice and waiting for someone to say either “Jump” or “Stay.” That someone, of course, is me. But I am still waiting for a signal.

It is simply a game of cat-and-mouse with myself, a game that, eventually, has an ending and will have a winner.

Will it be me? I cannot confidently say.