10/13/02

the blue hawaiian shirt on the first date. raining on the first date. walking by the rusty windmill. later making out/having oral sex at the same spot. the spot. driving blow jobs. always being dehydrated. myra’s party with the “i love you”. the walk. the debut of the mullet song. the clown pants. getting the spot on the seat. making the crack in the dashboard. clayshire and all of those streets. digital sex on the trunk when it was freezing out and i was sitting on a towel. the night before 4 months and how close the kiss came. crying over lost pets. the walk after sochi died. all the fun/tense/awkward moments before those initial phsyical moments happened. needle nose pliers. the boots. nantucket park. freezing walks. sweaty walks. going to harrison to make out and have digital and oral sex. every single time he touched me. every single time we kissed, held hands, fooled around, had sex, touched each other. the normal way of phone calls. the saved IM conversations. the saved IM conversations about how to be dirty. all the talks about jen. all the talks about rob. talking with margo and em the first canoe trip. and how different it was to talk with margo and lena the second time. nearly “drowning” in the tent with margo. going to sleep with the guys and eating chocolate chip cookies. a really stupid game of euchre the next night. our pretty fire pit. the dead fish. floating in the life jackets. finding out exactly where the jagged rocks were…with our feet. the night at erin’s grandmother’s house where i was in the pool and mitch was squatting by the edge and he was touching my face and kissing me and i felt so good and so happy and so sexy. chocolate milk. ice cream with milk and chocolate sauce and cherries. watching movies with his parents. the candles that got us in trouble the day after christmas. all the times his mother walked in on us. the close call with his dad. the doorbell. the showers. little white lies to the parents to spend more time with each other. making out on my couch and trying new positions. the fireside. two proms and homecoming. all the nervousness. all the excitement. the ring. the roses. the bears. the legos. making out on his bed countless times. the senior picture issue. band day and the almost kiss. kissing him for the first time (shivers). lake geneva. hanging out with aaron and jeff. mr. dean. the first time with vodka. that ridiculous pop can and the pot. sleeping together. booping. “you”. meeting up after english to walk to band. the day i went to the ER. the cornfields – him cutting his finger, always being partners, rainy days, “fit and trim,” pure exhaustion the first day, all the teasing we put up with. sundays night with him and his dad. being buzzed after one glass of wine at christmas. snow at easter. all the anniversary presents. how i always looked better after we fooled around. the pepsi bottle. the traffic ticket. buying his bass. ben’s house with him on september 11th. every single talk in the car. having a week’s notice to find a prom dress. “i think you’re a really cool person”. always keeping me in suspense. bugging him to let me read private OD entries. the necklace. the cologne. the rob zombie concert. all the new music. him wearing makeup more times than i did. fudge. cheeseburgers and BBQ sauce. digging the hole on the island. fooling around on the second canoe trip. pregnancy scare over spring break. rotamer road. beans at graduation parties. JSOL. frosty freeze. dog pee night at the wolters’. the first time i ever called him (to talk about andrew). every single thing about florida. the sweathsirt. getting to meet margo’s friends. choir and band concerts. soccer games. feeling slutty in my pink GAP shirt in front of his mom. the car accident. every single dirty comment. missing him when he was in ND and CA and OR and on heritage road. missing him when i was in colorado. making the precalc video. every single thing about the two proms and homecoming. learning to swallow pills. water fights.

THANK YOU FOR – for being “braindead,” for booping me, for the roses, for the letters, for putting up with my endless stupid questions, for your family, for the WI river weekend, for your love of your bass, for Prom and Homecoming, for that stupid hat *grin*, for “the dirty way,” for surviving all those horribly awkward moments at my house with me, for telling me about “woahing,” for that one double take, for your cats, for your Coca-Cola shirts, for being terrible at putting on lipstick, for going goth with me (even if it was your idea), for encouraging me in clarinet, school, and everything, for breaking curfew for me, for being Larry, the Mutant Frog, for two keychains, for May 9th, 2001, for September 30th, 2001, for making me eat healthy, for disagreeing with me and making me think, for inviting me over for dinner (I even kind of liked the moose!), for showing me the special spot, for the Hulk, for attempts at watching meteor showers, for “Fifth Element,” for “Wizard of Oz,” and for being the most honest person I know and perhaps will ever meet.

Thank you for being such a big part of my life. And for wanting to remain a big part of my life.

MORE LATER.