shit day

and today’s a shit day. simple as that. today’s a jump-off-a-bridge-shoot-yourself-in-head-take-too-many-pills-sob-sob-cry-cry-fuck-it-all day. i want to go home.

and then i remember that i AM home. i have to grow up now.

i’m so confused. i’m so frustrated and puzzled and unhappy and depressed.

and in two seconds it will change and the chemistry in my brain will pull a 180.

so just disregard this as nothing but the bullshit of my fucked up little mind.

it doesn’t matter anyway. it really doesn’t fucking matter. it’s all just bullshit.

i hate this.

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Dont be sad sweetie, we all have our down days. there are many days when I just want to go home to where everything is familiar and right. things all work out for the best though, they really do! I hope you are having a killer of a time here in madison, its a great place to be at this age 🙂 Take care and hope to see you soon!

I totally and completely understand what you mean about shifting emotions. It sucks. ~Ashley

September 8, 2002

I definitely know what you mean about emotional switches. I’ve been thinking I have serious mental issues. Just be happy that you are with some of your best friends. They can make everything better! 🙂 ~E