Of jobs and Men … *

…

"People will be people, and we are all very complicated beings who are the summation of our pasts and emotions, and our sensory intake. With every book, I strive to do justice to the characters and to show the complexity of human motivation and emotion. But more than that, I try to show that while some cave to bad situations, not everyone does. And that the tragedy and trauma that can destroy one person can also be what gives another the ability to overcome and build a better future.

We do not have to become or remain the victims that life sometimes makes us all. With enough strength and courage, all of us can overcome and learn to thrive in spite of the horrors and tragedies we’ve survived.

As Plato said, “Be kind to everyone you meet, for we are all fighting a fierce battle.” That is the one motto of my life and it is what has seen me through my own hell and dark hours. I believe in the beauty and the power of the human spirit because I know how hard-won the battle for sanity and safety can be. And I know how hard it is to leave behind a brutal past that should have never existed.

Every day is a new battle and while I may lose some of those fights, I will never lose my war. I couldn’t’t control the past or some of the nightmares forced upon me, but I can and do control my present and I will not let those vultures steal another moment of my life.

We all have moments of weakness, but with that comes the strength of knowing that we’re still here. And we still matter.

All of us."

-Sharing some of the Author’s Note that Sherrilyn Kenyon wrote at the beginning of Styxx: A Dark Hunter Novel (In stores September 3, 2013)

 

That right there Ladies and Gentlemen is everything I have spent years trying to say … the very words that I have had stuck in my head but have been unable to get out to where you would understand what exactly I was trying to say.

I was unable to control the physical, mental abuse I suffered at my own mother’s hands growing up. I could not stop the nightmare of the sexual abuse forced upon me by my step-grandfather for all those years. But as God as my witness, I stopped being their victim and took control of my own life. I won the battle for my sanity, and my safety despite them (although me being considered *sane* is still questionable lol). I am not a victim. I am a survivor who wears her scars with pride.

I am Sassy.

In other news, I love my job. It feels like I never left, even though it has been 16 years and a totally different hotel in a totally different state lol.

My Facebook status this past Wednesday when I worked the 11pm – 7am shift …

"This is how we party on the clock lol oh, and look, my manager brought me a homemade tostado, complete with avocado slices … YUM!"

My Mother-In-Law thought I was kidding when I said I get paid to read, watch tv, play on FB, etc until she saw my post lol She’s a believer now! LOL

However dot dot dot I am having a bit of an issue with said new job. Since Feb. we have been planning with my In-Laws for The Child to go visit them in July. Hubby has been adamant about going on family vacation to Mall of America July 4th weekend and then meeting up with his parents in Illinois to drop The Child off with them & then he & I would head back home after a brief stop in Branson, MO. Then, roughly 3 weeks later (last week of July), I would drive to Ohio to pick her up & bring her back home like I did last summer.

I knew all this these past few months that I have been submitting job applications but figured I’d be able to work everything out. Except I never got offered a job. So when I went in last Monday to apply for the hotel, it never dawned on me that I would actually get the job! Especially that quickly!

So now I have the job. But my scheduled days to work fall on July 4th weekend. So my first night at work, I asked about getting the time off since these summer plans have been planned for months. Well, the girl I trained with said she would cover the 6th but due to her being 36 weeks pregnant that weekend, she won’t be up to doing the turn around the next morning to cover that shift for me. The only other person is the manager, who works that 7am – 3pm shift 6 days a week. She finally agreed to work the 7th for me, even though that means she won’t get a day off that week. So then Melissa informed me last night she can’t work th

e 6th. So now I am back to square one. She was going to ask Ruth to see if she could work the 6th for me instead.

So then when it is time to go get The Child, I can’t get any time off that week. In fact, no one can. Dodge City Days are from July 26th to August 4th and NO one is allowed time off. So I just go after the 4th right?

Nope, because Melissa is due Aug 8th & since this is her 3rd, she’ll probably go early & I will be picking up 2 of her days while she is on maternity leave. Which, YAY! That will give me full 40 hour weeks till she comes back. Plus, MIL said it would be best to come get The Child the week of July 22.

Which, Ugh! Means The Child will only be there 2 weeks instead of 3. It’s almost, almost not worth her going for such a short amount of time, given the driving distance. Which also means I leave here July 22, arrive there the 23rd, leave there the 25th and arrive home on the 26th in time to work on the 27th. Roughly 2130 miles round trip according to Google. Which means I won’t be able to stop & stay with Kim like I had hoped. And this is all of course depending on if I can also get July 24th off work also …

So our options are beginning to look like this …

1) I quit my job. But this is really not an option. We need my job. I love my job. My job is not worth the sacrifice. Period.
2) The Child doesn’t go. Which no parent ever wants to break their child’s heart. And it would break her heart. She looks forward to this every year. Hell, *I* look forward to it every year. It’s the only time we get a break from her, aside from school. We’ve never had the luxury with her being able to spend the night with family whenever. She has spent the night at a friend’s house 4 times in 11+ years. Mama needs a break from that kid! Besides, I still remember her heartbreak this time 2 years ago when she all of a sudden, on our way to her vacation with them, she ended up in the hospital having surgery on her leg. I’ll never forget how devastated she was when she couldn’t go. But if push comes to shove, I have to do what I have to do to keep from losing/quitting my job.
3) Hubby takes her to Illinois to give her to his parents while I stay home to work. Then he can rearrange his vacation time to the last week of July and drive to get her & bring her back.

Guess how well option 3 went with him? His response … "That’s an awful lot of driving to be doing by myself."

Cue the crickets.

Uhm, Honey, I hate to be the bearer of bad news and all, BUT dot dot dot that is the same amount of driving that *I* would be doing by myself if I drive it. Trust me, they won’t add any extra miles to the map just because you are driving it. I promise.

Are you effin kidding me? It’s ok for me to do that drive by myself but not you? When in the hell did you become so damn special? Oh, that’s right, you were born that damn special. Silly me, I forgot.

So Lord, if you can hear me, please allow option 3 to be the best option for us. Because Hubby obviously needs a lesson in equality. I’d be happy though, if he just takes her to Illinois & I drive to Ohio to pick her up. I’d like a few days away from him, her and the traveling. But, as always, You will provide for us, in which ever manner You think is best for us, and I will be forever grateful. Amen.

So we’ll see what happens …

Think I’ll go take me a nice hot bath, complete with the whirlpool jets. Haven’t done that in a while.

Till next time …

 

Sassy Moments Photography

 

 

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