“Now don’t panic … “

Now don’t panic … "

Famous last words, right?

That was the greeting I got when I answered my phone yesterday afternoon. Not a "Hi" or "Are you busy?" or anything. Just, "Now don’t panic …"

Have I ever mentioned before that Hubby is an ass? Aside from the other 3,582 times I’ve mentioned it that is. Ugh!

First, that is never a way to start a phone conversation. Ever. At least have the decency to say hi or something first. Ass.

Second, anyone who knows me knows I don’t "panic". Maybe I get a tad bit anxious. But never panic. I’ve always been one of those to remain calm in times of crisis. After the crisis is a whole different ball game though lol. But Hubby already knows this about me, he knows I don’t panic. Ass.

"Now don’t panic but I am on my way to the hospital."

Ugh! Seriously?!!

"Ok. What happened." I say in a calm voice, because 1) I don’t panic 2) The Child was sitting right beside me and she would have picked up on any distress I may have been experiencing. I’d rather come across as cold and unfeeling than alarm my child unnecessarily.

"Well, a 40 lb. floor jack stand fell on my leg. I’m ok but they are making me go get it looked at." He tells me.

"Ok. Do you need me to meet you there?" (the hospital is practically in my back yard – not really but I can wave to the pilot every time he lands or takes off from the helicopter pad)

"No! Dammit! I told you I was fine! There is no need to worry or panic!" He yells at me.

Dafuq? Panic much Dear? Think you need to practice what you preach.

"Ok. Well just keep me informed. We leave here at 5 for karate so your dinner will be in the microwave whenever you get home." I practically sing to him.

Ass.

Maybe he was upset because I wasn’t panicking? Who the hell knows with men! A pox on all of your infuriating asses!

Anyway, he has a small laceration and lots of bruising. He limps a little when he walks but other than that, he is fine. Which yes, that is good. But seriously? Why all the drama from him?

Ass.

*** AMBER, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SKIP THIS NEXT SECTION lol

"Breathe, Mama. Breathe."

Those were words from The Child last evening as she gently caressed my face with one hand, the other hand gently on my chest, all the while lovingly looking into my eyes.

How she managed to get me to tear my eyes off my computer screen, I’ll never know.

The horrors I was witnessing online during the tornado outbreaks in Oklahoma last night were unreal.

The only thing that kept me sane was Amber. Because God as my witness, if she had not been texting with me while she was down in her storm cellar, I would have lost my mind. I was so scared for her! I was doing my best to keep her informed with all the information I was getting online from her local news station. But the information would change before I could get it all typed out. Especially when one made a hard turn South unexpectedly and caught everyone off guard. Then, not so lucky me, they switched to the chopper cam and it was showing the storm right over the base where Amber was. I think that is what made me loose my breath. I think I would have been better off in the storm cellar with her than watching in live on my laptop.

Usually when the base alarms go off, I text her to make sure she is safe underground. Then I leave her be to be the responsible adult I know her to be & so she can concentrate on keeping her children calm. Especially since her husband is deployed right now and she doesn’t have him to help her out.

But for whatever reason, I could not do that last night. Part of me felt like that if I didn’t stay in constant contact, I would loose her and I wasn’t ready for that to happen. Short of the cell phone lines going dead, there was just no way I could leave her be. I can’t explain it properly in words but just know that I just "had" to ride the storm out with her via text messaging.

That was like the longest hour and a half of my life. Ever.

I’m a bit concerned that The Child witnessed that weak moment. I’ve always instilled in her to never panic, to remain calm. There will be plenty of time afterwards to panic. I didn’t really panic though. It was just one of those literal breath taking moments for me. I would have eventually started breathing on my own again, because my lungs would have demanded it lol.

I feel like maybe I let my child down by not staying strong. I don’t know. I have all these thoughts and feelings floating around in my head that aren’t making much sense to me so there is no way they would make sense to you, even if I could get them out of my head to type into here. Maybe the problem is that I was just too close to the situation with it being Amber. Who knows what my deal is lol

Some of you are scratching your head about my FB posts from last weekend. To make a long story short, yes, you are correct in assuming we didn’t have the extra money to take a road trip and buy Starbucks and tools for Hubby and go to the Drive In theater. And now we don’t have much vacation funds left because of said trip and adventures. Because he just couldn’t stomach the idea of sitting home all 3 days of the holiday weekend. And he had broken tools he needed to replace (thank God for warranties!) and he just HAD to see the new Star Trek movie. I explained we didn’t have the money unless we take from our vacation fund. So that’s what we did. And the new tools he bought went on the credit card with the other $4K in tools already on it. So now we’ll see what happens when it comes time to go on our vacation … or not.

I got a paying gig for this coming week. It will only be for a couple of days. I will be removing wallpaper from a 600 square foot house for a Mom at karate. Hopefully it won’t take but 2 days max but the house is like 100 years old so Lord only knows how many layers are on those walls. I’m hoping to make at least enough to pay for The Child’s karate camp coming up in a few weeks ($150.00). Connie said she’d be willing to pay at least $10/hour. As long as I make the $150 I’ll be happy. If I manage to make more than that, then I will put it in the vacation fund to replace the gas/Starbucks/Drive In money we spent.

Speaking of gigs … This past Tuesday I had the pleasure of stepping behind my camera. Oh, it felt so wonderful! A Mom from karate (that I mentioned in a previous entry) met The Child and I at a local park with her 2 kids for a picnic lunch and so that the kids could all play together. Come to find out, the park also had a small zoo! A FREE zoo! So I took lots of pictures of the animals. Then I asked the Mom if I could take a few of her & her kids, which she quickly said yes! I had also taken their karate pictures back in Feb. that she loved. Well, she loved these new ones so much that she hired me to do a more formal session before they move to Houston, TX on the 15th of this month. Yay!
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So then I got to thinking, "Hey, this will be a good way for my name to get out there in the local area." Only to discover that she is in the same boat I am in … we are the only ones we know in this little town LOL Well, I do know Connie also but she lives about 30 minutes away. So then I was bummed. But then I got to thinking, "What if I create a Facebook page for my photography and post a link to it on some of the local FB pages/groups I am on and see what happens." So now I am in the process of doing just that. It’ll take a few days to get all the pictures uploaded (once I get all the permissions from everyone I asked) and get the page the way I want it, and figure out how to navigate it lol, all in between being a wife, a mother, a chauffeur, a cook, a maid, a hair mannequin for The Child, and everything else I do on a day to day basis. Because we just can’t be having me take time out for myself or anything. If I have time to lean (or work on a FB page) then there is obviously something else that needs to be done around here that is way more important. But once I do get it done, I will post the link for it here so that you too can go like the page lol. I’m thinking the more "Likes" I have on the page, the more believable everyone will find me as far as my photography goes. I was able to get permission from a few of the people I did karate pictures for to post those on that FB page also. Yay me.

Alrighty, things are needing to be done around here so …

Till next time …