An 80’s Birthday Celebration
A week after my brother’s wedding was my birthday. It also happened to fall on the same day that the guys were throwing an 80’s party at Fiddler’s Green. For the party I wore white jeans and a denim jacket, the pinnacle of fashion.
We were all having a great time. I had been drinking a lot of tequila because this was the first time I got to see a lot of my friends since I had been back and because it was my birthday as well everyone wanted to do shots with me. At one point Jay and Sean suggested going for a walk. In the end Jay, Sean, Erin’s sister Amanda, Erin’s boyfriend Victor and me all went for the walk. I thought we were just walking down the street, but at one point Jay turned down a wooded trail.
It was a trail that led to the outdoor amphitheater that we saw Sammy Hagar at the Blues and Brews concert a few weeks before. Amanda and I were skipping down the trail hand in hand being silly as Jay got us momentarily lost. They had put up a fence with barbed wire on top blocking access to the stage since Jay last took the trail. Luckily, I had a denim jacket. We threw it on top of the barbed wire and used it climb over the fence. When we got to the stage, Jay sat me in a front row seat and climbed onto the stage and began a long standing joke/tradition of singing Happy Birthday Marilyn Monroe style while doing a mock striptease. Before Jay even finished his song, my attention span drifted up to a huge banner tied up onto a wooden lattice backdrop promoting whatever the next show was going to be.
I thought to myself, ‘that banner would look great as a decoration for my apartment living room.’ Actually the banner was so big it would decorate the living room, go around a corner and down the hall, but when you’re drunk you don’t think about technicalities such as that. Jay finished his song and all I said was “I want that banner!”
The banner was tied about 15 feet above high above us and huge. Jay said we’ll never get that down.
I told him “Nonsense!” and climbed up the side of a cherry picker lift that was still on the stage that they obviously had used to put it up in the first place. That got me up halfway and I climbed up the wooden lattice wall for the rest of it. While holding on with one hand I tried untying the other end with the other.
Jay said ”Hey, maybe there is a way to unhook it from the back,” and the guys went behind the wall. At that point I heard the wood lattice slowly cracking from under my feet. I tried untying the banner faster. Then the wood gave way. At the last second I grabbed the wood lattice wall with both hands, but all I did was break off two pieces of wood in my hand to join me in my fall. I fell almost 20 feet. Actually it was two 10 feet drops because I bounced off the cherry picker on my way down and landed flat on my back. Amanda screamed the whole time. Jay and Vic came running up to the front with Amanda screaming, “Oh my God, Is he dead?”
Lying on my back I casually said, “I’m not dead” Jay then decided this was a bad idea and we should go. But I decried that I was without my banner. Jay said it wasn’t going to happen, but Vic said I think we can get it. It turned out the ropes were anchored to the floor of the stage in the back and within minutes the banner came down with a thud. We rolled it up and the five of us carried this heavy thing back through the woods. Amanda kept asking if I was alright the whole time and I insisted I was. I was so drunk I really didn’t feel anything. By the time we got to the fence I felt my leg throbbing a little and that cool feeling sensation when you are bleeding. I didn’t want to worry Amanda so while the others were contemplating how to get the banner over the fence which would be a chore all in itself, I suggested that we just leave it in the woods and come back for it later when we had more help. I did this because my leg was hurting, but I didn’t let on. The others were more than happy to concur.
When we got back to the house the party was winding down and people started to crash wherever they found a spot, as did I. In the morning I was sitting on the couch and I really felt my leg. Alan had woken up and was sitting nearby as I announced, “I’m in pain.” He laughed as he assumed it was because of a hangover, until I lifted my pant leg. There was a huge gash which I assume was from the bounce off the cherry picker.
It healed pretty quickly, but it did make me think that if I was going to keep doing stupid things, when I got back to Colorado I’d better get a job that’ll give me health insurance before I open my own bar, just in case.