Broken Resolutions, Brady Bunch and The Bangles…

Well, I already broke my New Year’s resolution to write once a week. I guess it’s better to just get that out of the way early on.  Since I am pretending that I’m NOT a homeschooling mom, and that everyone in the house has clean underwear that I don’t need to wash, and that my personal chef will be sorting out the dinner menu for tonight…I guess I have some free time to write in my diary.

Did I mention that it’s almost 4pm and I’m still in my pajamas?! "I’ll have a my-insolent-children-need-a-little-Christmas-break-detox-and-had-better-learn-how-to-follow-an-instruction-stat-or heads-are-gonna-roll on the rocks please…"

*insert big heavy worn out sigh*

By the end of the first day back to schoolwork I was looking up summer camps. No kidding! I found one that takes them YOUNG! Can you say "Goodbye ALL small children residing in this home!!"?  Sadly – they wouldn’t all go on the same week. The camp schedule is obviously not well thought out for moms on the cusp of a nervous breakdown.

Guess what my dad gave my 9 year old son for Christmas? A pocketknife. You know – the kid we nicknamed "Captain Hazard". Um yeah. The kid who tried to light sticks on fire in the driveway with a magnifying glass. The kid who lasted 3.5 minutes owning a slingshot before a sibling got nailed in the back of the head with some shrapnel. Yeah…that kid. I had to frisk him when we got to church on Sunday. Lo and behold he was packing heat *is a knife considered heat? Or maybe only a gun is?*

What I didn’t catch was the razor-sharp sticks he had wittled for his younger brother who somehow managed to smuggle in. After church – FOUR separate people came up to me and said "Did you happen to know your younger son is jumping around doing karate-like moves with some very sharp sticks?!" I find it curious that they chose the words "Did you happen to know…" instead of the more appropriate phrasing "Did you happen to care…" Some other "more-responsible" parent than I – managed to confiscate the "alleged weapons of imminent destruction" from him shortly thereafter.

On another note. I once again exercised my inability to say no and organized and threw the all-church annual talent show and Christmas potluck. It’s as if I’m a masochist… It turned out great in the end – but as usual managed to strip several years off of my life. Our family did a lip-sync to the Brady Bunch song "Change" and I was a part of a group of gals that re-wrote the Bangles song "Walk Like an Egyptian".

I leave you with those 2 videos…