Long Holiday Weekend

 Which is mostly being spent working away on my class stuff….

Sagecat has been snuggly and sweet and wild. He’s 18 months old now, by my best guestimate (based on the neutering date I have for him, and the obvious reality that he was neutered before being sexually mature) and in this weird in-between phase. Sometimes I look at him and see this mature, settled adult cat, and sometimes I see a kitten. He pours himself into my lap often, paddling around with his paws until he finds just the right spot. And he trills and licks and kneads until he puts himself to sleep, tucking his face into my ribs. 
It seems at least once a day or so I find myself burying my nose in the soft fur behind his ears and just breathing the sweet kitten smell- it’s beyond description, but almost a mix of honey, cinnamon, and green tea, perhaps?  He’s on a strictly grain-free diet , with water added to his wet food each day to prevent urinary tract problems and the occasional drizzle of coconut oil over his dry food to help with hairballs. I fuss over him, ridiculously. And he does the same for me. He’s spent a lot of time this past couple weeks with his head on my shoulder, or with his paw on my shoulder, head tucked into my elbow…positions that make it nearly impossible for me to continue working. 

Sadly, I’ve had too much to do to enjoy the snuggles without feeling guilty. The semester’s started and threatening to leave me in the dust. I’m still trying to finish up that incomplete from spring. And then there’s the research study work, which I get *paid* to do….and can’t seem to dedicate enough time to earn my keep, because I’m still trying to write that stupid paper. 

It’s Labor Day in the US today, and I’d like to take some of the day off. Even more so, because today, Sept 2, is the 2-year anniversary of my diagnosis, and I’m a bit weirdly emotional about it.  I did at least message one of my oldest friends, who lives across town to see if he had time for a cup of coffee….of course he didn’t.  For me to even *say* to another human being "I’d rather not be completely alone all day today" was a pretty huge deal; I don’t ask for help (or for anything, really) often. So I suppose I should be proud of myself on that front. 

So I’ve settled in for another long workday….wishing I’d at least managed to make it to the store yesterday so that there would be food in the house (umm, there’s freezerburned apple pie icecream from last fall and frozen brussel sprouts and eggs – I can turn that into a meal, right?). There *is* a bottle of moscato in the fridge and I will try to end the day with a glass of wine and a hot bath. And I will try to not be unnecessarily weepy, because there is too much to do.