Skinny ?
The other day my daugther asked if she could take a friend to the gym with her on a day pass. I don’t particularly care for this "guy friend" of hers but he is a friend so I said sure. I hadn’t seen him for almost 4 months I’m guessing.
I spoke briefly to him at the gym and went about my business. When my daughter got home she said her friend said to her "your mom is skinny now she looks good".
When she said that to me I just said "ya right". I always think people are saying shit just to make me feel good because they feel it’s what they should say.
When I see larger women at the mall, or anywhere in general I always ask my hubby "Am I that big, or Is that how big I am"? I tell him to answer me honestly. He won’t hurt my feelings. He looks at me and says NO WAY NOT EVEN CLOSE. But when I look in the mirror I do see a big fat woman – still. I’m still, statistically, 40 lbs overweight but realistically, about 30.
Why can’t I just see the person in the mirror for who she is? I KNOW I’m not as big as I used to be but I don’t feel like I should after having lost 84 lbs already. Will I ever be happy with my weight? Is there something else that is making me unhappy I don’t know about? I feel GREAT having lost the equivalent of 2 little people. I’ve dropped from a size 24 (sometimes 26) pant size to a 14. An XXL (even XXXL once) to a Large and even a medium. I’m sure my heart is happier now. I can run now when I never could. I can cross my legs easily now. I can bend, stretch and flex like I never could before. I just don’t know why all I see in the mirror is a BIG FAT GIRL. (still)
You are doing awesome and you must look amazing….Keep up the good work.
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Awww…you’re doing great! I can’t wait until I write in my OD one day that I’m a 14/16. I know it’s hard to see ourselves as we really are…I’m on the other side of the curve not realizing how fat I am or overestimating. If I wrote in my OD I’d gone from a 24 to even an 18 wouldn’t you think I’d done a lot of hard work? Keep up the good fight!
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Just think of it this way…you may think you look as big as the people you see around you, but can they all say they’ve lost 84 lbs? That is amazing! Some people can’t even lose 10 or 15 lbs. without having a hissy fit and giving up. You have done such an awesome job and I hope that you will realize that very soon. Strut your stuff little lady…you’re worth it!!
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You’ve done so well… I think sometimes it just takes awhile for our minds to catch up with the rest of us. Especially if you’ve been overweight a long time – it might take awhile. Keep an eye on how well you’ve done – you’re doing an amazing job! 🙂
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i think it will catch up with you eventually … i’m the same way. =)
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It just takes time, but hun, you are doing awesome. I am so jealous of you and your motivation, and everything! I wish I could keep up to my word, you’re an ispiration, you really are. Ugh, I need to dicipline myself more, but you, no, don’t even call yourself fat, because you’re not! You’re smaller then me now.. and I think I need to step up my workout a little bit. You’re doing great! xoxo
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Unfortunately I think we did the negative self talk and negative thinking for far too long that it will take your mind a little longer to catch up to your physical. 84 pounds! WOW. I hope you are as proud of yourself as I am of you!
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wow 84 lbs!! thats amazing!! i bet ur before/after pics are awesome! I’m the saem way tho with comparing myself to other people. Since I first went on a diet a few yrs ago I’ve lost like 60lbs… but I still see myself as big as I was back then until I see old pics of myself and realize how far i’ve come. But still.. my best friend is overweight and she used to be just a bit chunky… (cont)
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but she’s gained tons of weight int he past few yrs. I still see myself as being fatter than her but everyone tells me that i definately don’t look that big…and i think i’m actually starting to believe it hehe. anyway, i’m sure u look great, just like ur daughter’s friend said!
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THis entry hit home with me. I look in the mirror and still see a fat girl even after loosing 70 pounds. I’m constantly comparing myself to other girls who are bigger than me and my b/f say “No way. You are not that big.” But that IS what I see in the mirror and even in pictures of myself. I feel for you. Weight problems are so difficult…even after you’ve lost a lot.
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You will. Its just a matter of mind set. It will happen. You brain needs to adjust, especially if you have been overweight for a long time. Just make sure you think positive and do all you can to look at yourself in a realistic way. Dont give into what your mind says… listen to what others say about how you look and let that help you see what really is.
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Hey Sweetie. I totally know what you mean. There are days I look in the mirror and I too occasionally feel like I’m still a big girl and that my weightloss hasn’t been enough. Its what I guess I would refer to as a “focus adjustment”. Its only because you are so used to seeing the BIG YOU. Regardless of how much time has passed. It will be a long time till you yourself see the SMALLER-SKINNY-U.
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Time will come. You will see the results though. 🙂 I mean just look at what you said in the entry. ” You said :I can cross my legs easier now”. See ? That alone is an accomplishment. Heavier people don’t get to often cross their legs the way skinny people do anymore. To me that is important & is one of the many things that keeps me from going overboard when eating. You’ve done so well. Be Proud!
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When I was a size 4 or 6 I thought I was fat and still needed to lose weight!!! How sick is that? Now I would give almost anything to be that size again… lol
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I know this feeling, but you have acheived such amazing goals and i’m sure you look FAN TASTIC! I know how the mirror and our minds can decieve of, but you must congratulate yourself and be proud for the beautiful, healthy, motivated incredible person you are…. and thin too. 80 lbs?!!! WOW!! That is just awesome.
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