Anyone want a basketcase??

 Ergh, I feel pretty seedy right now.
I don’t have a hangover.  I just had a weird night out and am now just processing everything.

Backing up, I went to my dental appointment.  Ended up getting a wisdom tooth extracted.  I found out from the dentist that I’ve had two removed, including the one he just took out.
The dental assistant was nice and talked to me lots, telling me to stay away from sticky foods, hot drinks and alcohol.  That probbly explains why I feel so seedy right now, because I haven’t eaten anything decent in about 36 hours!
The pain isn’t too bad today, and I was lucky to even get my tooth out, because the dentist realised his next appointment wasn’t until 3pm, and since it was 2:30, he said he’d do it now.  Yay!  They told me to raise my hand if I felt any pain, and I only had to once, briefly, but it subsided thankfully.
I walked outta there with a bit of tampon-material in my tooth socket, and they gave me a few spares.
I went back to the city and got off at Southbank, and went and checked out the "My Country" exibit at the art gallery.  I think it’s only just started and was a pretty cool view on the history of Aboriginal Australia.  One of the video’s playing was quite contraversial and captured my attention for a while.  It portrayed all the mean names and jokes non-original-Aussies made about people of Aboriginal decent.  Quite sad really.  It was done quite well.

After that, I left and went into the city to go to my favourite Ramen place, but just like I’d feared, they were closed 🙁  They close between 2:30 and 5:30pm every day.  I guess it must be quiet or something.  I was gunna hang around until they opened, but then I had an invite to catch up with my friend Carly because she was at The Wickham, so I went home and changed into shoes and took off there.

As soon as I walked in, she introduced me to a French guy she had already made friends with.  He had short facial hair all over an olive-complexion face, and was quite attractive actually.  Carly went and got a drink and I made a bit of small-talk with him.  He’d been in Brisbane only two days and had frequent flyer points to use up, and realised Brisbane was one of the destinations he could go to, and he’d always wanted to come here.  He was reading a QNews and looking at all the possible gay venues, and I think he was making his way around to all of them, including the sex venues lol.  Lovely guy.
He said he might catch up with us at the members night at the Beat, which I usually go to.
I managed to drag Carly along with me.  A few of her friends were at The Wickham, whom she was currently fighting with, but of course they pretty much all moved from the Wickham to The Beat also lol, so it got to the point where she had to clear the air with them.
I dunno, I kinda droned out.  I don’t like drama at the best of times, and this just seemed petty to me.  It was purely name-calling, and Carly had an issue with it and her friend denied ever saying anything and in the end I think she was still just as annoyed.  She was pretty drunk by that point though, so much so that she got to the point of talking to me about how much she hated the way my dad was treating me, which got ME thinking about all the bullshit of the past week from him, and I ended up trying to hold back tears.  No no avail.
There I was, the only completely sober person in the club (due to my tooth), and I was visibly upset.  She was nice and comforting me, telling me how awesome she thinks I am, and then called over a very large man to talk to me and tell me how awesome I am.  LOL good one drunk-Carly.  This man said, "Well, I don’t know him.  He looks like a nice person."
LOL.
He was kind and did what he could though.  Even scoffing when he found out my parents were religious…
"I know a few of ‘them’" he said bitterly.  I did find out that this large man had a 25 year old son, and if his son ever told him he was gay, he’d fully support him.  He later on said he came out as bisexual about that long ago as well, and hadn’t spoken to his brothers in over 30 years because of it.
By the time the draws were over (none of us won), and I was too emotional to be there, I told Carly I was going.  She was trying to get me to buy her yet ANOTHER drink, but by the fourth time, I ignored her, hugged her goodbye, made sure she was okay to get home in a cab, and I walked home.

I made a few facebook status’s that would have probably normally been made when I was drunk, but my only excuse was my emotions.  It was just about the amount of bitchiness I’d witnessed between my friend and her friends and a stupid incident where the host drag queen turned on the big fan outside, and it was cold anyway so there was no need for it, and when Carly’s friend had an argument with the drag queen, she (he) was abusing her power and got security to try to kick him out when he simply got up and turned it back off again.  Everything was just SO STUPID and I was pretty much over it, especially sober.
I will say, the only saving grace was that there was a cute new bay guy who had just started there about a month ago, and he was just really friendly and good at his job.
It made me miss the days when Liam used to work there.

I got home eventually, and had a call from Vish, checking up on me, but I was all still down about crying about my dad’s bullshit.  I think the reason I was upset again about it is because a thought crossed my mind about cutting off all contact with my dad.  So many of my friends have told me to do so, and a big part of me wants to, purely so I can make him see how serious I am that I want him to grow the fuck up and get over the fact that I am gay and will hopefully, one day, marry a guy I really like.
MAN, I hope that happens one day.  Beats me how lol.  Back at the Beat, Carly and I were both saying how we’ve been single for six years.

I eventually got off the phone to Vish.  He was trying to make me laugh, and did eventually when he told me to just forget about my dad and go get some hot guy to give me a blowjob lol.  Isn’t that the ultimate revenge?  Do exactly that they hate the most?  
I’m still mulling over it.  I certainly don’t hate my dad.  I just hate his pure inbred-stubborness.  I also received a facebook message from him that read, "Those messages were meant to be private."
Fuck off dad.  I thought you deleted me.  But I guess people can still send messages even when you’re deleted, unless I change the privacy settings, which I don’t wanna do.

My night hadn’t ended though.  Throughout all the bullshit and having been at two gay bars and my emotions and everyone else’s bitchiness, plus my impending frustration that life can’t just run smoothly, I realised I was a little horny, and kind of wanted to take it out on someone.
And I did.  I went over to this cute guy’s apartment and he just wanted to chat to me in the foyer, which we did for about an hour at 2:30 in the morning lol.  He was a friendly guyand he was wearing shorts that showed off thighs that, quite frankly, I couldn’t stop looking at.  I really am a thigh person when it comes to cute guys, and I knew he only wanted to talk, but I had other ideas.  I was feeling naughty and I told myself that I was gunna try and seduce this guy, even though I have so seducing qualities whatsoever lol.
I told him that I thought he had sexy legs, which was true.  I later on asked if I was allowed to check out his apartment, and to my surprise he said ‘Yeah of course’ and we went up a couple of floors.  We went into his room and it was layered with stuffed toys, including a lot of Hello Kitty stuff, which I ADORE.  He showed me his little balcony, where he told me a story about how he was outside eating breakfast one day and heard a scream and saw something falling from a nearby highrise, and proceeded to tell me how the person hit one of the bottom balconies and split into three parts.  I was mortified!!  How the fuck does that not scar someone for life witnessing THAT!?
Nyway, we got comfy on the bed and I was just playing with his sexy legs, and next thing I realised… he was hard as a rock.
Right.  Well that’s a sure-fire sign it’s on.  I played with his cock for a while through his shorts and he eventually moved his hands over to me, unbuttoning my shorts and pulling out my dick.
I pulled him on top of me.  I didn’t wanna waste any time really.  I pushed on his shoulders and he got the hint, licking his way down.  I know, subtle, right?
He was good too.  He made me blast in about ten minutes or so.  I asked if I could cum, and when I did I must have been a bit noisy, because he moved up and put a hand over my mouth and then pinched my chest.  OW!
Gee, what was the big deal?  I guess he wasn’t comfortable with his housemate hearing lol, but truthfully, I didn’t see how she could as her room appeared to be on the other side of the apartment.
W chatted for a little bit more but by the time we were done it was 4:30 and I said I’d better let him get some sleep.
He walked me back downstairs, since you need a key to even USE the elevator going up OR down, and i gave him a hug outside and said it was nice to meet him, which it was.

I walked back home, across the suburb, so maybe 15 minutes each way, still annoyed at my night but pretty proud of myself that I’d managed to actually hook-up with a guy who previously probably didn’t want to.  But hey he said yes to showing me the apartment and can’t have been too against it, right?

I had a pretty good sleep.  I only had water before bed again, so I think my body is crying out for some nutrition.  The dentist said I couldn’t even go to the gym, so I haven’t.  I don’t see what my teeth have to do with a gym workout, but anyway.  AND work called me in yesterday but I said no, and they’ve called me in again tonight, but I really can’t be fucked.  my mind is still in a weird place, as well as the tooth, and I think I might just go in for my rostered shift tomorrow night.  I’m going to attempt to eat something tonight, and continue to eat on the left side of my mouth.  I’m not sure how long I’m meant to leave it until I can eat normally again, so as not to let the socket get infected.  Cos that’s the last thing I want.

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October 3, 2013

Matt, what your Dad said to you devastated me just to read so I can only imagine how upsetting it is for you. You’re not wrong for being sad or for sharing his comments either. If he’s going to say it, he can own it. It’s extra abusive to make someone feel like they have to deal with it alone. I feel sad that he feels he needs to hurt and humiliate you to demonstrate his commitment to his religion. At the end of the day he is making a fool of himself, making a big deal over nothing that shouldn’t even concern him.

Clearly your dad never learned that old chestnut about not saying anything privately that you wouldn’t say publicly. (Well, there are obvious exceptions but you know what I mean).