Intoxicated inc.

 Geezushh, did I get smashed last night, or what?

Finished work at midnight and my old manager was waiting outside for us, along with a friend of his who none of us knew, but he turned out to be pretty cool.  We waited around for a few of the boys to drop stuff off in their cars and off we walked to the same watering hole as last time, the Pig N Whistle.

I went straight to the bar as soon as I got there.  I’d been hanging out for this night for a few days, and I have to admit, it is nice to hang around a different crowd to my usual ones every so often, and it’s very rare this opportunity comes up, so I make the most of it.  I ordered myself a Fruit Tingle, as I knew I’d prefer the taste of it over a Long Island.  I also ordered a bowl of chips, as everyone likes to munch on them during the course of the night.

The conversations revolved around work and "hypotheticals", which seemed to always be a tradition that has died off in recent times, so they got revived.  They basically involve two options in a ‘Would you rather…’ scenario, and each person has to go around the table and say which one they’d choose.  I actually got my phone out and started recording some of what the group was saying just because it was so wrong and hilarious at times.
And me being me (going along with the completely-wrong-for-dinner-conversation), and because boys are boys, I asked them this one:
"If you were fucking the hottest woman on the planet, and you reached the point of orgasm where you couldn’t hold back, and at the last 30 seconds she turned into your grandmother, would you a) Continue on or b)freak out and pull out?
Most of the boys said they’d let it happen LOL.

I ordered another Fruit Tingle and then decided to try another one that sounded nice, but I forget the name of it, but it had lots of strawberries but it wasn’t a daquiri.  It wasn’t as nice as it sounded however.  I also decided to order nachos, which we hadn’t done before, and it turned out well because the plate was huge and there was plenty for everyone.

They stopped serving food at alcohol at 2am, so then we went to the Down Under bar, so it seemed like a complete copy of last time.  I don’t mind that though, because it is so close to my home that I really don’t have that far to get home when we’re done.

And thankfully so.  The Down Under bar had $7 smirnoff blacks.  As much as I am trying to boycott Russian vodka right now in protest of their outrageous homophobia, I couldn’t knock back that price lol, and I found myself inebriated in no time.  I was on the dancefloor with the boys (there were 4 of us left by that point, when at one point there were 8) and I loved that there were actually a few boys to perve on there.  I managed to subtlely feel each hot straight guys arse as they moved past me lol!  I was just at that point where I didn’t care and the touch could have been perceived as an accident amongst the crowd on the dancefloor.

I think I freaked out my straight group when during a Justin Timberlake song, I decided to really play the part of the girl’s voice in whatever that song of his is, with actions and all LOL.  I had to remind myself that I wasn’t in my usual territory and could easily get punched out by some sheltered breeder, but thankfully it was a pretty fun crowd.  At one stage, this guy started dancing with me for a bit and I wasn’t sure what that was about haha, and earlier on a chick was dancing in the middle of our group.

I did find it fascinating watching one guy trying so hard to get this girl to make out with him all night, and all she was giving him was little pecks every now and then.  He was eventually covering the front of his pants, clearly concealing the excitement this girl was making him, but she just wouldn’t have it.  She was a complete tease and in the end after a few pecks, a phone is brought out and a number exchanged.  I mentioned what I saw to my ex manager, and he goes, "Welcome to straight-world".  I was in disbelief.  In MY world, tongues would be down each others throats and a number might be exchanged after private parts are in orifices!!  Sheesh!

Anyway, the club called last drinks and we eventually left as the club was emptying out anyway and it was down to me, my ex-manager and his friend, and as i walked out of the club, I realised how intoxicated I really was.  I hugged them both goodbye and stumbled my way home, making an incredible racket as I entered the house.  I couldn’t believe how drunk that Smirnoff blacks had gotten me!  I must have only had about three, on top of the three cocktails.  Or maybe I had four?

I looked in the mirror and didn’t like my moustache stubble, so picked up my razor and started to shave.  It was then that I heard a knock on the bathroom door and I opened it with shaving cream all over my face.  My housemate was standing there and asking what I was doing and I excited said "Shaving!  I look gross" and he was like "OMG no!" but I was already half done and I managed to do the rest without cutting myself.  I then went into the lounge and crashed on the couch.

Turns out for some ungodly-known reason he decided to have friends coming over that morning for a 4am breakfast.  I mean, WHAT THE?  Who DOES that??  And here I was passed out on the couch.  Next thing I know, I’m being dragged onto the floor and a pillow put under my head.  Then I’m being dragged throug h the house by my feet into my room.  I remember the light being turned off and I got really scared and started crying LOL.  I was communicating with him the whole time and I remember it.  He was wanting to put me in the laundry out of the sight of his guests who were coming over and I kept repeating back to him "I’m not a dog!"

He turned my light back on, which calmed me down and he went and got my other housemate and I spent the next half hour or so saying how much of an asshole the other housemate was because he wanted to put me in the laundry and that he was a meanie.  Reecey has such a calming voice and was telling me he had a hot guy upstairs, who I know of but have never met, and I was saying that he should go back to him because he’s much cuter than me.  He said, "But I live with you.  He’ll leave anyway".  So cute!

Once I’d calmed down and he went back to bed, I managed to peel myself off the floor and into my bed.  I don’t remember removing my clothes, but I woke up in my underwear, so I must have at some point.

Work was hell.  My hangover was pounding away the whole time, but I managed to get through it.  I’m just waiting another hour before heading out to Fluffy, but I’m only going to see Alyssa’s show and then come home.  No drinking for this black duck tonight.  I need to gym for a week to make up for the damage I’ve done to myself.
<br/>
But life has been fun!

Edit:  Alyssa wasn’t too bad.  She talked a lot of random crap, as drag queens do I suppose.  I only stayed for the first song.  It was awesome to hug my friend Anatoly again, as he’s been jetsetting all over the planet lately and just happens to be back in Brisbane for a few days.  He spotted me there and we gave each other a hug.  Another guy I know and I waved across the room, and I saw a few others but couldn’t really be bothered making my way through the crowd to say hi.  I was NOT drinking after last night’s episode haha.
I was home by 2am after only heading out at 12:30am, but still, it was a nice short trip out, plus I got in for free, so that was a bonus.

I got home and found this note on my door and it made me go ‘Naaaaaw!!’