Goodbye Caltex

What a BIIG day yesterday was!  Catching the bus into work early in the morning was a weird feeling it itself.  I got off the bus at the Gabba station and walked from there.  I was getting more and more nervous with each step I took.  I figured everyone had to be there by now, it was around 8:30am.  See, I finish work at 5am, so I never see any management.  I get there and I knock on the Invoice office door, to no answer, but I knew they were in there.  I knock again, and it opens.  Zac comes outside and shakes my hand.  He is the owner’s son, whom I haven’t met before, and I ask him if any management are in, and he says yes and takes me out to the other office where Michelle is (The new manager whom I also haven’t met).  Both Zac and Michelle didn’t look like I thought they would!  You know how you see photos, and then meet someone in person sometimes, and they look completely different?  It was a bit like that.  Michelle took me out the back and rambled on about why I was there.  I let her talk for ages and after a while she asked if I had any questions and I said, ‘Before you go on, I actually want to resign.’  She replied back right away, ‘I know’.

Haha, she must have overheard me when I first walked in.  When I first walked in, Anne (the morning girl) was on the till, and she’d never seen me outside of uniform before.  She knew right away!  "Are you leaving??"
I said ‘Yeah, I am."

I didn’t think Michelle would have heard us, but I guess she must have from out the back 🙂
She told me that they would probably try to convince me to stay.  I’d spent the previous night writing up my resignation letter.  I figured I’d better do it the right way and exit with dignity.
I made the walk to the other end of the store again, and for a third time, knocked on the door.  I entered the room and everyone was there – the owner, the invoice lady, the new invoice lady (as our invoice lady is leaving too soon) and Zac (who has done heaps to help out.)  The owner turned back to her screen away from me, as though she knew why I was there.  Why else would a graveyard-worker be there at that time, with a letter in his hand? 🙂

It was almost like I could sense the dread in her as I didn’t waste any time saying why I was there.  "I want to resign from Caltex." 

She asked me quite a few questions as to why and that it’s close to Easter and that I hadn’t given her any notice.  I thought the notice I’d given her was plenty!  I mean how hard can it be to replace a service station worker?  Geesh, I was taking resumes from people all the time who came in asking me if there was work available.  She asked me if I could still do Easter, and I said ‘My mum wants me out there for Easter, so no, sorry." – I don’t think she liked me saying no to her haha.  She then offered me an option of swapping next week’s roster around from the weekend to earlier in the week. 

She read my resignation letter, and told me it was very well written.  It wasn’t exactly professional but it got the point across, thanking them from the experience and that the job has certainly been an eye-opener, and that I was happy to provide the letter as notice if needed to help out the business operations before I officially left.  I’m not very good at leaving people in the lurch, so figured I’d offer the right thing, although I was convinced they’d tell me to leave then and there, because I hear they’d done that with other people who have left.  I even confronted her about it!  I said, "I hear other people have had to leave on the spot."  She told me that wasn’t true and that other’s had given her three months notice (Call bullshit much??)

So we came to an agreement.  I will work the next 7 nights straight to help her out, training up whoever a new guy is.  It was perfect timing walking in there when I did, because they were doing the rosters!  They were literally out in front of her, and when she heard of my resignation, she swapped the shifts around to put me earlier into next week and so I have Easter off to spend with my family out on the farm.  I couldn’t go to the farm at Christmas because my car wasn’t working.  I don’t have a car at all now so I’ve decided the options are either bus it as far as Toowoomba, or rent a car.  Mum told me I’d better organise one now if I want one at Easter.  I’ve never hired a car before! 🙂

We had a bit of small talk about what my plans were.  I told her I was going to travel overseas.  She asked where.  I said ‘America’ even though I really can’t yet without a passport, and I’ll more than likely go Europe.  She asked when and I said in 2 months time.  Haha.  She asked how long for – I said I didn’t know as the ticket was one way.  Complete lies but I didn’t really see the point in answering questions that really weren’t important to me.  I have some idea of what I’m gunna do after I finish and yes travel is involved, so my answer wasn’t entirely untruthful as that would be a good option, I’m just unable to get through without a passport, which hopefully will be sorted out soon enough.

So next Wednesday will be my FINAL SHIFT AFTER 2.5 YEARS OF DOING GRAVEYARDS AT CALTEX!  WOW!!  I was keen on quitting right then and there but I knew this would be a possibility that I’d have to work more before I can go, and I’m happy to do that.  So now it seems like a countdown!

As I was about to leave I asked if I’d see them, and she said ‘Not on graveyard’ haha, so I gave her a hug and shook Zac’s hand.  Heather said ‘Zac wants a hug too’ (she is SUCH a funny faghag! lol!) so I gave him a hug too haha.  Heather said she’d say goodbye to me outside.

I love Heather to bits.  She’s leaving soon too to go and work out in a fruit shop in a small country town.  I think she’ll love it out there, coming from a similar area myself.  She won’t be able to come to gay kareoke nights with me anymore out there though haha.  I think we are organising a going away for next weekend, when both I and she will be free, and it’s a going away for our old manager as well!  What they don’t know is that Danielle is leaving also.  I’m kinda glad I got in before her, but I know she wants to leave at Easter as well.  It just depends on finances.  I’ve got enough to get me by, enough for me to have a fair break from working casual for so long. 

You know what I feel like the worst thing is?  I know from previous experience that I feel I will get bored and then therefore depressed.  It amazes me how I can fit myself into something like a job and a lifestyle so comfortable that when it’s all taken away, it’s like a bomb hits or something.  I need to somehow train my mind and keep myself busy enough so that it doesn’t go into overload during the time I will be unemployed with no income coming in.

Heather said that it was true about them just telling staff to go when they quit.  I said to her ‘I knew I wasn’t making that up!’  See, just goes to show the dodginess that still even goes on in that company.
I figure I need to make a checklist of what I will miss and what I won’t

Miss

• My regular customers
• No management ever and never seeing them
• Good income for easy work
  
• Fun times with drunk customers and the girls from the brothels up the road
• A lot of the fun regular cabbies

Won’t miss

• Drunk customers
• Being paranoid that I might not be alive after the end of every shift
• Ringing the police to remove idiots from the store
• Chasing up drive-offs and being threatened that we have to pay for whoever does from our own money (which is impossible when people use fake number plates and shit)
• Trying to see number plates when its pitch black outside and they refuse to get cameras in the forecourt (I mean seriously?)
• The management bullying of staff
• Weekly rosters so I can never make plans

What I’m looking forward to

• Challenging myself to create a valuable and interesting future for myself.  What this might be is yet to be determined and it scares me, but I feel quitting is a brave new step in the right direction.  I’m 28 and need to start to think about doing something more deep with my life rather than living on a comfortable income in a job that I can hardly call a career.
• A nice holiday and some rest
• Freedom from paranoid in my workplace
• Will be able to stop letting my friends down when they want to hang out or do something fun and instead I’ve had to drag my arse off to serve drunk people.

After I left, I made a status on my facebook about what I’d done.  Everyone seemed genuinely happy for me, but you know what?  I’ve never understood the fascination with leaving a job and everyone asking me ‘So what job are you doing now?’
To me, that spells out that everyone I knew spends every cent of their paycheck every week.  If I’ve just left a job, why in the WORLD would I want to go straight into another one, that is probably just as tedious and where I’ll dread the alarm going off on a Monday morning.  Mind you, the idea of a day-job is appealing as all hell at this point in time, but I’m sure that novelty would wear off real fast.
I don’t know a person who isn’t stressed in their job at some point, no matter how much they are earning from it.  I’ve never been good with stress, hence never going for high-profile, deadline jobs.  Stress makes a person age, freak-out, and treat others around them like shit, and all from a job?  I don’t think so! 
I can honestly say, that for the most part, the job I just quit from has been the easiest job I’ve ever done that has paid the most money.  I don’t regret working here at all and the experience truly has been valuable.  I didn’t like the drunks or the people who committed crime, and I’ve missed working with people.  Workplace relationships can be livelong, and I’ve learnt that from Woolies.  One girl asked if I was coming back.  If I ever went back there it’d be for the people.  It’s a catch-22 – it’s not really moving forward is it?  I left there cos i’d worked there full-time for 6 years.  I’ve now left here after working casually for 2.5 years.  I’m only getting older aren’t I?  The casual rate was consistant and occasionally gave me 5-night weekends, one of which I’ve just had and am on night 5 as I write this, so sometimes it has worked out really well and generous, although to get to that I’ve usually had to do crazy hours, like 17 shifts in a row at one point I remember.  Never again I told myself haha.
This is what I replied, now that I’ve had a chance.

That sounds okay, doesn’t it?  Ergh, I just hate how judgemental so many people at once can be on facebook.  Muuuuch prefer it here!  Judge me all you want bitches cos I love yas!  They will never understand my thoughts so you guys do here.
 
I would probably even work in a servo again at some point, maybe in many more years, except it wouldn’t be graveyard and the management wouldn’t do dodgy shit like install a webcam in the back office to spy on staff they think are stealing.  I mean fair enough but fuck, what an insult and breach of trust.

I’m one who lives in the moment, and unfortunately I have 7 shifts in a row to still do, but I think I will be excited enough to get through them and hopefully they will go fast.  One last weekend of drunk fuckheads to deal with, and I think I have to train the new guy on a few of those shifts, so I can let him do all the work, as he’d gunna have to get used to it!

I’m leaving it all behind.

I actually managed to catch the one bus that went the wrong direction on the way home this morning (Bravo Matt!) and I ended up at the University Of Queensland.  I can’t believe I’ve lived here for 9 years and have never once been there (well I’ve been to the dorms once for other reasons, but not the actual campus).  I decided that since i was there, I’d have a wander around and check the place out and have a good ol perve-session whilst I was there.
Boy did I ever.  Why the fuck am I not at university??  Oh that’s right, cos I didn’t get in haha.  I..must…keep…trying.  I even had a thought that I should just rock up and pretend to be a student, learn everything without paying a cent in tuition etc, except then I wouldn’t be on any records nor would I get a qualification haha.  Yes, this is how the strange mind of Matt works.  I did see quite a few cute camp boys in their boots and duffle bags mincing their way into lecture theatres etc.  I was fascinated with the place and think it is a beautiful university.  No wonder it’s top ranked, apparently.  I almost even did the token tourist thing and thought about taking photos, but I didn’t 🙂

I caught the bus back to Southbank and got off there for some reason, and went and saw the Hunger Games with my friend Sean, who’d been studying all day and was kinda over it.  Geez, full on much!?  I didn’t mind the film but I hardly think it’s for kids haha.  I guess if they are mature about it.  I quite enjoyed it and will ignore the 1.5 stars David And Margaret (film critics) gave it 😛

I only got home when it was dark, and fell asleep until 3:30am.  I had a good sleep.  Yesterday was a big day.  It’s over but not offically over as I need to work my notice, which I cut down from the three weeks she wanted me to do, to just the one.  I think I handled today quite well.