Proof that my housemate is a tosser

So my three night weekend has now turned into a one-night weekend, and that’s on Sunday.  My boss rang me (while I was asleep as usual) and asked me if I could come in that night because the other night guy had called in sick.  I was really looking forward to having a few nights off after working six in a row, but grudgingly said ‘Yes ok’.  She thanked me profusively, and I set my alarm and went back to sleep.  I get to work and I’d just taken over from the girl on in the afternoon when the phone rings.  It’s my boss again.  I’m serving a customer at the time and trying to talk to her and the customer and she keeps getting confused at what I’m saying lol.  Now I think it’s rude when a customer is talking on the phone when you’re tryna serve them, but I feel JUST AS rude when I’m on the phone and trying to serve them – if not worse.  My boss said that the doctor had given the other night guy two nights off so she was wondering if I could do tomorrow night as well.  Jesus!  I figured I was already on a roll, so agreed to it.  Eight shifts in a row that’ll be!  I just got home from my Friday night shift and my till was out by some weird amount – fucks me how.  Couldn’t really give a shit to be honest, doing this many shifts in a row just does it to ya.  I was just looking forward to Sunday, when I’m hanging out with the guy I like =)  Finally.  After like two months!

Anyway, at work I get some texts, and i figure they are from my friend and my crush because my friend was asking me if he could crash at mine tomorrow night (now tonight) and I couldn’t remember talking to him about it so asked why, and he said it was his friend Tommy’s birthday who was at his party, and he invited me along to it as well.  Well that was all well and good until I got to work and realised I’d now be working, so had to say no to him.  Originally i had it off and must’ve said to him I wouldn’t be working.  Oh well.  The other message I thought would be from my crush, but nope, they were both from my housemate Jeff.  Sent at like midnight mind you.  I’m going to type these out just so you know exactly what I see.  Most of the time I delete his messages without even reading them.  Beats me why I read them, I should’ve just deleted them like usual.

Jeff:  CLEAN THE STOVE IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT AND COVERED IN GREASE AND MUCK (I dunno if this was the exact first message cos I deleted it out of frustration lol)
Jeff:  Otherwise don’t use stove at all
Me:  (actually standing up for myself against this asshole instead of ignoring him)  –  I haven’t used the fucking stove.  Don’t message me.
Jeff:  No you do every morning for breakfast maybe not today or yeaterday but when I was here every morning you would leave the fryin pan cleaned up in the bench which is fine but you would NEVER wipe the stove up and now it’s fucked.
(COMPLETE OVER DRAMATISATION!!!)
Me:  Fuck you (yeah I kinda lost it lol)  I always wipe the damn stove!  How dare you.  You have some nerve.
Jeff:  I no u dont I got evidence I’ve woken up in the morning and the fryin pan is cleaned and put near the sink but its grease everywhere around the stove but by then ur in bed and i’m like fuckin matt again grrr so yeh already asked luke (the other housemate) and he doesn’t cook eggs or bacon or whatever it is (lol eggs and bacon which i hardly EVER eat) u use the fryin pan forked mornings so don’t say u always do cause it’s a lie
Me:  Jeff get ur facts straight.  For one i don’t appreciate getting shit like this when i’m working and i never put the frypan near the sink.  The right side of the stove isn’t working cos the plate has come off the hinges so i’ll have a look at it.
Jeff:  To late I already looked at it I put it back on if u knew about it the. Why didn’t u do it then instead of leaving it to someone else
Me:  Because it was a hundred degrees maybe!
Jeff:  Or leaving it for later (I’m guessing he sent two in a row with this one)
Jeff:  YOU MUST DO THIS STRAIGHT AWAY clean upfix things straight away not later or come back to it cos I live in this house to and it’s pissing me off your laziness
Me:  Yeah well ur accusations piss me off.  A simple note to say the stove is gross would be sufficient, how hard is that?  No you have to go and be all wankerlike and that’s why we don’t get along.
Jeff:  Well you must forget to do it when I get up at 9am in the morning cause when I get home and your getting dressed for work it’s still not done and luke said it wasn’t him.
Jeff:  I just know u don’t use warm to hot water and detergent cause the sponge I throw out every few days is full of grease u just usecold tap water and it does jack shit to wiping and clean the stove.

lol, so yes that was out little tanty text-tennis fight we had last night.  I thought I had the last word with my message, but I knew it was too good to be true.  Oh well the last two don’t bother me too much.  I even messaged Luke to let him know of our little fight we were having lol.  Luke knows I can’t stand the guy most of the time, I make no secret of that.  Reckons I use cold water.  Pfft, what a dick.  As if any moron would use cold water thinking it’s cleaning something.  I don’t think he knows what cleaning is because hot water on a sponge still leaves grease! 

So yeah, I go back to work, trying to put him out of my head, and I managed to, but I had a thought that I’ll bet you anything when I get home he’ll have put notes on everything.

Once again, his predictive- ness never ceases to astound me.

This was stuck to my bathroom door.  Mind you I was in there on my hands and knees cleaning it yesterday so he obviously didn’t think to look inside!

This was stuck to the rangehood
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He’s stuck this to the stove.  I moved it so I could cook.  lol as if he has the RIGHT to say the stove is out of order – for fucks sake he’s SUCH a child.  ‘Risk of damage’ – lmao!

More dribble.  I always wipe the benches so I dunno where he’s getting this shit from.  The amount of times I come home and find the bench covered in alcohol bottles and used shopping bags is unreal.  At least there’s no-one sleeping in the loungeroom this morning which is surprising.  Usually there always fucking is and it’s Luke’s friends cos let’s face it, Jeff doesn’t have any.

So yeah, there’s notes on pretty much everything in the lounge/kitchen area.  It was working fine yesterday when I used it!  Maybe if he actually ran a rinse-aid through it like I do once a month then the thing would work properly!  I’ve yet to see him do that!

I can hear someone awake upstairs.  This will be an interesting conversation when he walks in here.