Like sands through the hourglass

I’m still in absolute shock about the news of a guy I went to high-school with having passed away over the weekend.  I found out via here on OpenDiary, from my mate Bill’s blog.  He and Sean were best mates, no doubt about it.

It certainly hits home hard when someone you saw pretty much every day of your school-life, and even hung out with occasionally afterwards, is all of a sudden not around anymore.  I sit and find myself staring off into space, like just zoning out about the realness of death, and how it can happen to us at any time.

I myself, am doing quite alright, I’m just mainly in shock more than anything.  I am mainly feeling for both Sean’s family and especially Billy.  I can’t even imagine the emotions he is going through right now.  But I know he is strong, and that Sean would have wanted him to remain strong.

Seeing the tributes on Sean’s facebook wall is really touching.  I knew he had a lot of people who loved him, he just seemed like that sorta bloke.  Even typing that, I wrote ‘seems’ and backspaced because it really doesn’t feel like he’s not around anymore.  Like I could randomly run into him somewhere.  It was only recently that I was telling Billy I thought I saw him here in my hometown, and then I laughed when Bill informed me that’s where Sean lives so it could be entirely possible haha.

What’s frustrating me, and I know it shouldn’t be, is my curiosity of not knowing HOW Sean has passed away.  There is no information, and I have even been keeping an eye on the newspapers when they come in at work 🙁  It’s scary knowing that something has happened to a mate (and I call him a mate cos he was basically a mate to everyone he knew) but I do not know what.

He was too young.  He’s only my age, a few months either side I’m not sure.  I definitely have good memories of him, early ones being of perving on him in high school haha, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one, to hanging out with him and Billy at a footy match here in Brissy and them both ganging up on me because I was the odd-out fag in the group lol.  Thinking of Sean really brings a smile to my face, and I’m sure in time I will find out what happened.

As Bill says, ‘He’s the greatest man I’ve ever known’ and for him to say that, wow, what a friendship those two must have.  I’ve never heard of anyone spoken about more highly of Sean than from his and my mate Bill.

This is where being raised how I was can be comforting, and I’m sure it’s a major reason why many religions were created in the first place.  Sean could be in a number of places right now.  He could be a ghost, he could be an angel, he could even already be reincarnated as someone else somewhere else in the world.  I know a lot of people who like to think so.  I think of it in the way that he fulfilled a purpose on this Earth and made it for the better for so many people.  To quote many friends on his facebook page ‘Taken far too soon.’

It still feels like I’ve dreamed it all.  It really does.  Two guys that I know of now that I went to school with are no longer with us, and I’m only in my mid 20’s 🙁

RIP Sean buddy.  And Bill, I’m thinking of you in this time of hardship.  I wasn’t even sure how to write this entry, but I think I’ve said what I wanted to say.  Christ, knowing Sean and Bill, this celebration of Sean’s life is gunna be the biggest piss-up ever lol.

""You’re meant to lose people in life. How else are you supposed to know how important they are to you?" – The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

"To fear death is nothing other than to think oneself wise when one is not.  For it is to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not even turn out to be the greatest blessings of human beings.  And yet people fear it as if they knew for certain it is the greatest evil."   ~ Socrates ~