Whatever

I Won’t Be Crying – Infernal

You always check yourself
In every mirror you see, day and night
And it is such a shame
You’re better two years to blame
Oh why don’t you knock it off

It is the pointlessness
That’s got me loving less
I cannot not handle that you’re such a wannabe
You’re caught up in yourself
And you don’t even see

I won’t be crying when I’m lonely
‘Cause I’ll be making sure I’ll have a good time
Hey nothing wrong when I’m alone now
‘Cause I’m alone and I’m fine
I won’t be crying when I’m lonely

I’m sure you don’t believe
That anybody can tell you’re a foul
I’ll bet that you believe
They only think that you’re cool
And a handsome devil too

___
You better turn around
‘Cause otherwise you’re gonna fall and hit the ground
‘Cause all this beauty boy
Won’t last eternally

I won’t be crying when I’m lonely
‘Cause I’ll be making sure I’ll have a good time
Hey nothing wrong when I’m alone now
‘Cause I’m alone and I’m fine
I won’t be crying when I’m lonely

I won’t be crying when I’m lonely
‘Cause I’ll be making sure I’ll have a good time
Hey nothing wrong when I’m alone now
‘Cause I’m alone and I’m fine

I won’t be crying when I’m lonely
‘Cause I’ll be making sure I’ll have a good time
Hey nothing wrong when I’m alone now
‘Cause I’m alone and I’m fine
I won’t be crying when I’m lonely

A friend introduced me to this song, and it’s been helping me a fair bit, lyrics-wise, with all the shit goin on in this little mind of mine.  I can see I’m gradually getting over it though – I just gotta rebuild some courage within myself and trust in those around me.

I met up with a friend for lunch today, during his lunchbreak.  Fuck it was busy at his store – it always is!  It’s only a small shopping centre at Taigum, but Jesus, it’s always packed out.

There’s a storm brewing outside here.  The wind is picking up and blowing a gentle breeze through my window, and it’s got that freshness smell to it.  You know the unique smell of rain or moisture you only get in weather like this.  It’s a really nice smell.  It’s only really faint at the moment, so I’m hoping it’ll start to rain and the smell will intensify.  Yay I just got a whiff of it then.

I truly am a gay guy.  I specifically went on a search of pretty much every store that sells DVD’s in my area, specifically searching for the ‘Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert’ DVD.  How gay right?  I only found it in a few places, but they were both asking for around $26, so I thought, nah fuck it, I ain’t paying that much.  Normally I woulda, but I’m really low of funds atm. So I’ll have a look on ebay.

Speaking of earning money, all these things about work I’m hearing through the grapevine are getting worse and worse!  Today, Naomi sent me a message saying they are looking at putting me on fucking CHECKOUTS from 3-7 and perishables from 8-midnight.  I HATE checkouts with a passion.  Standing in the one spot for four hours, I don’t fucking think so.  I’m fine iwth express alerts, but when I work, I need to move around, not put on a damn fake smile and stand there.  God I swear this whole week should fucking disappear.

Yay, it’s raining!

I’m contemplating going out tonight.  Tomorrow being a public holiday (Australia Day!), it’s usually a big night out.  The rumour is the clubs will close at midnight though, so if I’m gunna go I should head out early.  Part of me is itching to head out though, and get drunk and really get into mischief.  I’d like to drink to the point where I don’t think about my promiscuity.  Gee, how bad does that sound… Basically I really couldn’t care – right about now, funk so brother… check it out now… – god i hate that song, why am i typing it…

I got a random phone call this morning on my mobile, from a dude named Andrew from fitness first in the valley.  my mate Jas must’ve put my name down there to score some free shit if I join.  This dude invited me along to a free session this weekend, which is also an open day.  I’m a bit iffy about gym’s but I have been wanting to join one, and this one’s in the valley, which is a fair way away.  The closest one to me I think is Lutwhyche.  Anyway I said I’ll pop in saturday and I’ve been told me bring a towel and a bottle of water.  What?  Do I just carry it over my shoulder?  Not a big deal I know, but I’ll look a bit like an idiot, especially if I’m catching a bus in.  Maybe I can take my bag and store it somewhere.  Who knows if I’ll join.  I don’t really have the cash to atm but if it’s over the fortnightly payments or whatever, I’d be able to do it.  I love how they tell you everything you need to know on the website, EXCEPT the price.  It’s free to join this weekend apaprently, but that doesn’t tell me how much it’ll be over a 12-month contract.  I’m predicting around $600ish?  Could be more, I dunno, we’ll see.  $12 a week or whatever I’m sure I can handle.  I just know on Saturday when I go in, I’m gunna be a nosey little bitch reading all the fine print before signing my life away.  I find it interesting in the terms and conditions how you’ve go about terminating your contract, even after it’s expired.  You’ve got to fill in this form that they apparently ‘give you’ when you join, and even after you fill that in and give it to them, you have to PHONE to make sure they’ve filed it, and then wait another 4 weeks cos you’ve got to do it 4 weeks in advance.  No wonder I keep hearing bad raps about gyms and how rip-offy they are.  That’s not my only concern.  Personal trainer’s scare me.  I think I’d prefer to do my own thing for a while, or work out with a mate if I even got to that stage.  Maybe I could work myself into it?  I don’t wanna join and then not go.  I gotta write my list of pro’s and cons about going to the gym – once I do that, I reckon I’ll see myself through it.  I keep fucking procrastinating though!  I might go do that now.

Anyway I heard thunder before so I’m gunna post this before I lose it all.  I’ll probably add more to it later on, or not.   Whatever.</f

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