So Long Status Quo

Brave – Nichole Nordeman

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You’re safe and sound and
Until now it’s where I’ve been

‘Cause it’s been fear that ties me down to everything
But it’s been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I’m spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I’m ready to jump
Even ready to fall…

Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I’ve never known a fire that didn’t begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I’m gone

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

Ok so I’m fucking scared at the moment.  For Luke.  He wasn’t saying much on msn and I can tell he’s really not handling things well there.  I’m just so scared he could do something stupid, and I can’t be there to help him through what he’s going through.  If only he realised I’m going through the exact same fucking thing he is with the gay/religion battle.  GOD!  He told me to leave him the fuck alone.  You can understand why I’m upset and a little bit angry.  You try to help someone and they tell you to piss off.  Oh well, he can only help himself I guess.  I’d just…never forgive myself.

I’ve put the lyrics up to my favourite song at the moment.  I find myself the more times I listen to it, the more I love it, and it’s very hard to find a song that does that to me these days.  Oh I just love it, and because of it, I have a newfound respect for one Christian singer named Nichole Nordeman.  She’s so pretty too, as she sings one of the songs on my DVD, called ‘Holy’, which is absolutely beautiful as well.

I’m watching "The Banger Sisters".  So funny haha.  Well the cits I’ve seen between talking on msn with my friends.  After the Australian Open Men’s Tennis Final.  Wow, that was pretty cool, well the bit i saw.

I only saw a bit cos my mate Aaron wanted to see me, so I went into the city to see him.  As much of a struggle it was to tear my eyes away from the tv, as I absolutely love my tennis 🙂  It was great to see him but we were both pretty tired so there wasn’t too much in-depth conversation happening.  We had Sizzler for dinner, and my god was I full by the end of it or what.  God that place fills you up.  Aaron was so full as well.

I’ve got one more day off.  Don’t think I’m gunna do too much.  Might go and see Lindsay.  I’ve spent $200 this weekend already, just on food and going out tonight.  I’ve got my phone bill and rego to pay yet and I believe rent comes out this week as well, so that’s like $800 *cringes*.  I’m gunna leave it as late as I can to pay them, so I can actually get some money.

God I still haven’t told Nev I wanna move out.  God I’m such a woose.

Vicky’s party was a lot of fun last night.  She is ‘Mystical Wild’ here on OD but I don’t believe she writes in her diary anymore, but she does have the net back now so hopefully!  It was fun, met her uncle and aunty and saw Dean from highschool and a few other friendly faces.  The whole night was hilarious.  They are just a group of people where anything goes – say what you want no matter how offensive or out-there it happens to be.  Mark was flirting with a straight cute guy and freaking him out.  God he has some confidence, my ex does lol!  I wouldn’t be able to do that.  He was like, ‘wow you’re a quiet one, but you’re cute, so it’s okay’.  Stuff like that.  This guy (whose name was Joel) I think took it as a compliment haha.

When we went inside, Mark sat on the right hand side of the couch, I sat in the middle and Vicky’s friend Nikki sat on the left.  Joel came inside, and I think has a thing for Nikki so sprawled himself on top of Nikki and myself.  God I wasn’t complaining.  He was gorgeous!  Mark said, "Hey! Where’s my part of the action?", so he moved his leg so it also covered Mark’s knee.  That made him happy.  It was real sweet of him actually.  I think he liked the attention of all three of us.  Even when we left he gave Mark and I both a goodbye hug.  I think he was Vicky’s next door neighbour.  It was a fun night, with the alcohol bringing the fun out in everyone.  I even made a comment when they were talking about Vicky and her birth.  I said, "Yeah, she was one that missed the tonsils…" I was amazed I didn’t get attacked by her fingernails.  She’s my best girlfriend, I can get away with it ;). I was relieved everyone got it and laughed 🙂  But her new house is gorgeous.  It’s about 50 kilometers away, so at least closer than Toowoomba and fairly accessible by train.

Oh wow I just saw an ad on tv for angelflight.  That is sooo sweet.  http://www.angelflight.org.au i might check that out later.

Speaking of sweet, on the train on the way home, I sat across from these two guys, who although were talking with each other, were also using hand actions.  They were speaking to each other in sign language.  I’m presuming one was slightly hearing-imp

aired.  It was sweet to see though.  Just mates, and the fact that a mate of theirs is willing to learn sign-language to communicate with them, I just find really encouraging, and justified.