In Deep

 "Pretty Boy" – M2M

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I’ve only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometime I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

[BRIDGE]
Oh pretty boy
Say you love me too

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

Luke freaked the hell out of me last night.  We were having sex right and right after I came, he slid off the end of the bed out from under the blankets onto the floor, and sat there for ages looking into thin air.  I could see the moonlight on his beautiful face, and he looked scared.  This scared me, I didn’t know what he hell had happened and i was asking him over and over if everything was ok, had i hurt him, what was the matter?  He wouldn’t respond to me, just kept looking blankly for a bit like he was somewhat in pain.  I started to get scared and wanted to call an ambulance.  He then laid down on the floor with his head on a bag that was left on the floor.  He was breathing heavily and I guessed he was recovering from the hard work he had just done, cos I take ages usually unless I’m really worked up.  He was laying down for about 2 minutes, the whole time I was speaking to him, trying to get him to respond to me.  He wouldn’t.  He then sat up again, finally, much to my relief, and sat there really confused for some time, before finally responding to me.  It was like he suddenly heard what I had asked or something.  He said, "I guess I blacked out."  I was like, "blacked out?" and he goes, "Yeah, I blacked out, I can’t remember anything!"

Apparently the last thing he could remember was doing that to me, and then waking up on the floor.  He couldn’t remember how he got there.  I then explained all he had done, how I had been talking to him and how he had been acting, and he couldn’t remember any of it.  God it was scary.  I’m not letting him do that again that’s for sure.  He said he thought he had enough air, but he tried so hard for so long, and finally, after succeeding, passed out.  I know that sounds bad, but that’s what happened and it fucking freaked me out a little!  I finally managed to get him back onto the bed and resting his head, and asked him if I could get him some water or tea or something.  He refused and we cuddled each to sleep.  I was so relieved he was okay.  It certainly was an interesting experience now that I think about it.  I think afterwards I did him and he felt a lot better afterwards.  Scary stuff.

Haha, I’ve noticed a lot of my regular readers have stopped posting to a lot of the more full-on entries I make.  I figured this would happen, and that’s cool, but I’m not gunna stop typing what happens in my life.  Read the front page if you don’t like it seriously.  I guess it’s a good thing most of my readers would be other gay guys anyway, at least they can seem to handle anything.  I’ve realised that myself.  A lot of things that would normally be offensive or disgusting to me really arent.  You see a lot of things and meet a lot of interesting people being a gay guy.  Some are cool people, a lot are freaks. 

I woke up at around 12pm today to Lukey kissing me.  That was nice.  Luke had 10 minutes til he had to leave for work, and I was suppose to meet my friend Lindsay in the city for coffee.  So i quickly threw on some clothes, fixed my hair, threw on shoes and asked Luke to drop me off at the train station on his way to work, which he did.  I made it in there in plenty of time.  Lindsay was still at uni as I arrived there at about 12:30, so I walked around the Bontantical Gardens for ages.  I saw a gay workmate of mine in the city, but he didn’t see me, just kept on walking past – typical gay queen all dressed up nice with the designer shades lol.  He’s great though, don’t get me wrong, he’s really funny and is happy with himself, which is all that matters.  i can’t wait to see him at work and tell him I saw him.  I actually wished I had his number so I could’ve send him a message as I walked past saying something smart like ‘hey faggot! look behind you!’ (it’s okay for gays teasing gays lol).  Anyway I needed to use the bathroom at Central Station and it was disgusting, like it’s the worst restroom you can possibly use I think cos that many people use it every day.  Anyway, I also needed to use the bathroom in the Botantical Gardens, and i was quite nervous whilst using it because I’ve heard it’s sometimes used as a gay beat.  Lindsay teased me about it when I met up with him, imitating an old bear peering over the door asking if I wanted a threesome.  He’s so funny.  That guy cracks me up laughing every time I hang out with him.  It was great to see him again.  We went to the coffee club for cake and iced chocolate (well for me), and were laughing at the 3 gay guys who were rostered

on at the time.  Lindsay actually recognised one of them from gaydar!  He’d seen a profile where that guy was spread-eagled naked on a sheep-skin blanket.  I nearly burst out laughing.  Lindsay reckons he was tempted to send the link to the guys employer.  He’s so funny hahaha, god we’re a weird bunch.  The other two gay guys were obvious and one of them I swear only looked about 14 years old.  Lindsay reckons he was interested in me as he kept looking over at me from the kitchen, and then hesitated before coming to take my plate from our table.  I politely thanked him and he continued on with his work.  He was a cutie, but maybe he just looked young for his age, cos I dunno if you can work at the coffee club at 14?  Maybe he was like 16 or older.  Oh well.  That was fun.  Lindsay and I talked about his work and stuff.  He works in a call centre and gee he talks to some interesting people.  the thing I love about Lindsay is he doesnt care anymore.  Like he’s at a point in life where he doesn’t give a shit anymore, and although through pure honesty, he tells it like he sees it, but in a nice way.  Am I making sense? Like if someone asks him why he hasnt talked to them in ages, he’ll reply blatently something like, "Maybe cos you’re an asshole and a slut."  At least he’s honest.  The thing is, he doesnt say it out of angst or meanness, he’s pretty much on the mark, like what he says is true.  The guy usually is a slut.  Oh and don’t get me started on his housemate.  Even Luke warned me about him before I had the misfortune of meeting him.  Complete weirdo.  For some reason he refers to Luke as "Gary".  Riiight, it was some sort of other 4 letter name that wasn’t "Luke" anyway.  He’s the type of guy who’s out at the gay sex venues every night of the week.  It’s hilarious that Lindsay lives with him cos they are complete opposites.  Anyway I’ve said enough for today.  A good day off, but sure was intersting.  The new David Jones building in the city looks good and I had fun looking through Borders at the CD’s and gay fiction section.  Lindsay and I lauhged at the one entitled, "In Deep".  Lindsay goes, "bet you $20 I know what that consists of." Yeh, no need for further hints there.