similar things

 
“Pretty Boy” – M2M

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I’ve only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometime I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

[BRIDGE]
Oh pretty boy
Say you love me too

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

Fair bit’s happened since I last updated.  A lot was in the entry I lost, but there’s no point trying to remember what I wrote. 

My friends from Toowoomba, John and Kristy, came up to visit on Sunday.  They came up for Sunday Night Live, and stayed the night at our place.  Sunday Night Live was really good!  It was really interesting.  The songs were quite good and the guy who did the sermon was good too!  Normally I sit through a sermon and am bored shitless a lot of the time cos whatever they are on about doesn’t get through to me.  But this guy who was preaching to us, had actually been dead.  That’s right, he’d been declared dead at the hospital he was taken to.   He was dead for a whole 2 mintues, and then was brought back into this world.  This guy was a perfectly healthy guy, and one day after driving home, he had a piercing pain in his chest, such panicked his wife, and he was whisked off to the hospital.  What this guy talked about was what happened in those 2 minutes he was dead.  It was quite amazing.  He said it was like a darkness where you couldn’t see anything at all, you had no idea where you were.  Then there was this hand, like guiding him through the darkness, which eventually came to a glowing sparkling light.  The darkness was like trying to hold onto him and surround him, but it was fading away like a fog.  Anyway it really got me thinking.  That guy has confirmation he’s going to heaven.  The rest of us have faith we’re going there, but that’s not confirmed.  Anyway the service was really good.

After the service, I drove to KFC in Springwood.  We ate there and then we didn’t really wanna go home.  It was only about 11pm, so on the drive back toward home on the Pacific Motorway, Kristy suggested we go walking in a cemetary.  Now the idea kinda scared me but intrigued me as well.  I’d never been to a cemetary at midnight before, and after some discussion on what we really were going to do, I drove to Toowong cemetary, as it was the only one I really knew of and we were headed that direction anyway.  So we pulled up in a few places and got out and looked at some of the tombstones.  Some of them are absolutely amazing.  Some people have really spent a lot of money on their loved ones tombstones.  Kristy scared the hell out of us by telling us some ghosts will actually cling to you if they haven’t made it through the porthole!  So she told us to bring our ‘shields’ up as we entered the cemetary.  Especially after a church service about life and death!  We were really scared when we came across this section where all the tombstones were the same and all had a weird ‘F’ shape with one stroke going the other way.  Kristy said to me as I pulled up, ‘omg this better not be the stillborn section.’  That was enough to send a shiver through my spine.  It’s so sad!!!  Luckily it wasn’t.  It was just tomstones in some foreign language.

I rang my mum for her birthday on Saturday night after i got home from work.  I’d promised Luke I’d go cuddle him in bed after I had my shower, but when i walked back inside I realised I hadn’t rung her, so I did.  During our conversation she’d told me that my grandma is in hospital.  They thought they were going to lose her, but she seemed to recover the next day.  I was going to go up and see her, but John and Kristy were coming down and I didn’t want to disappoint them, so yeah I’m really hopin she’s feeling much better.  It’s just really scary.  I love my grandma so much.

During the time John and Kristy were here, Luke barely looked at me, let alone talked to me!  I knew something was up but couldn’t get it out of him.  I found out today that his grandad is in hospital and he’s really scared.  He came back home on his break at work to see me, where I hugged him and tried to comfort him.  I don’t think I’m very good at it.  He admitted that wasn’t all.  As he was cleaning he came across some old letter’s I’d written to Mick, and curiosity got the better of him and he read them, and he musta realised how much I really did used to love him.  I assured Luke it was no longer relevant!

Going back, on Monday, which is still my weekend off, John and Kristy went to Garden City, so we went shopping there all morning.  Then they went home and I caught a bus to Aaron’s place.  It was so good to see him again.  I had promised him I’d see him weeks ago.  As soon as I walked in his door and he saw me, he goes ‘Matt! You came!” – awwwww i love him heaps.  Best best-friend I could ever have.  I stayed there for a few hours and had dinner there, much to the insistancy of Aaron’s mum, Jenny, and then hugged Aaron and Becky goodbye.  I promised Aaron I’d watch a movie with him next time I’m over.

I got my holidays approved at work.  I’m going on holidays from June 7th to July 2nd.  I SO can’t WAIT!  I’ve been working for over a year straight full-time without a holiday, so it’s about time I have one I reckon.  My plan is to go check out Melbourne.  Although I know absolutely no-one there.  I just wanna do a repeat of what I did in Perth, but maybe sight-see some more.  Maybe if I have time and money I’ll go check out Sydney too!  It sounds really cool in theory, I hope I can put it into practice.

Lukey’s in Toowoomba until Thursday night, so I’m by myself again.  Sometimes I really miss him, but I seem to be getting used to it, which I guess is a good thing.  I really love him, and I wish h

e was here.  I’m worried about how he is and how his grandad is going, and how my grandma is going too.  I would go up and visit her, but I have 4 more days of work to get through :(.  I often wonder how horrible I’d feel if she did happen to pass away during that time.  Gosh I’ve really gotta stop thinking like that.

Luke also admitted to me when he came home that his mum has been talking to him about being gay being a sin, and he’s afraid of hurting me.  Luke loves his mum so much he never wants to let her down.  I reassured him letting him know that I often think the same thing, that being gay is a sin, but it’s something I can’t help.  He said to me, ‘But I don’t want my relationship with you to be a sin.”  So today I was thinking that maybe Luke just wants to be friends, but he sent me a few messages saying he loves me and he will never abandon me.  “The thought of being without you makes me sick.  I need you so much darling.  You’re so beautiful babe….Whatever happens we have each other.  We make a great team.  I love you babe, I will be thinking of you all the time….can’t wait  to hold you when I get back.  At least if anything does happen, I’ll be upset, but at least I can understand exactly what he’s going through.  He’s great.  I keep missing Mick’s phone calls and it’s so annoying.  He probably thinks I’m avoiding him.  It’s just to ring back my phone call charges are huge.  I still keep telling myself I’ll ring Optus, God I wish I had more time.  CMON holidays.  Jesse McCartney on Rove tonight *drools*.  He looks hot when he doesn’t look stoned.  about 6 weeks til holidays!!  And the ad’s for big brother have started, I so can’t wait.  With my hours at work I’ll be able to watch the late-night runs!