my day *sigh*

I’m in the weirdest mood right now, but it’s not exactly a pleasant mood.  I had a big day at work today 8 til 7,staying back 2 hours to finish off some crap I won’t have to do tomorrow.  We had a career’s lady come in and talk to us about where we want to go in the company.  She was really nice and was very informative.  She thinks I should transfer into either a 2IC or a 3IC position in a Woolworths store.  I dunno..I’ve been thinking about it way too much today, because change is a really scary thing for me.  I mean I know I moved to brisbane not knowing anyone, without a job and moving in with a guy I barely knew, but it all turned out great, so now the big moving thing doesnt scare me, but the changing job venues does.  At the moemnt I’m wanting to move to Northside or maybe Eastside, mainly because I’ve never lived there and I want the change from the Southside.  I’d also be closer to Micheal, but I get the feeling he doesnt want me to move near to him.  I mean I wouldn’t be living right near him, It’d just make it easier rather than either of us having to travel so far to see each other.  Ah well, I’m sure it’ll work out – beats me who I’ll move in with, but hopefully I can find some nice people for once. 

I got depressed today after work after I rang Micheal, and probably cos I was being paranoid as usual, but I was thinking so much on the train ride home, that I looked at my reflection in the train window and saw that I was crying – I mean I knew I was crying but I didnt realise so much.  It’s interesting having a clear view of your eyes filled with tears.  I was thinking about having a boyfriend.  Micheal and I aren’t boyfriends, we’re just seeing each other, and I got depressed because it’s all I ever wanted, to be able to love someone and call them my boyfriend 🙁  I’ve only got one half of that happening 🙁  It’s quite depressing and unnerving.  It makes me wonder whether he genuinely likes me, or only likes me when he has time to. *sigh*

There’s like about 10 or 12 ppl in our house at the moment so I have no chance of sleeping.  It’s kind of inconsiderate but I’m not one to ruin their fun, and I’m down so i’m not gunna say anything.  Hopefully I can do it.  I’m going to go listen to a relaxation tape my workmate gave me today, I hope it helps 🙂  Thanks for reading..

-Matt