The One with the Proposal

 Have you ever had this great idea and thought you could totally pitch it and everyone would be on board? I had one of those great ideas today on my way to Staples and as soon as I got back I started gathering information and just submitted my proposal. You can’t take back a sent email. Well you sometimes can, but really you can’t. So I am committed. I really do hope it is accepted!

I am so far behind and so uninterested in finishing my design work. Ugh! Not how I wanted this to go. I have to try though. Try to get it done. I think I am going to request the final course materials and see if I can get some of that done. I don’t know that I will take the proctored exam. I don’t know who I could find to do it and I have no idea when I could do it. Blah. I loved part of it but now I just feel blah about it. I feel like I have wasted the money.

Maybe I will feel better once I get a project or two done. I can’t believe I just quit so easily. I was really focused and then I wasn’t. I don’t understand how that happens. Oh well.

My proposal could see me studying for new things. I don’t want to say too much in case it falls through. Whatever happens I will update.

I feel like April was a blur. That first week really threw off the entire month. It was just … gone.  I can’t wrap my brain around it.

This week has been such a long and boring week. I am looking forward to the weekend. I am hoping to do a butt load of cleaning. I want to rearrange my living room & get my closet sorted out, but I don’t know if both are possible. It would make all the difference in the world I think. I think my mind would be clear and I could focus on getting stuff done. I would feel better about life! I think I might ask Mom if she would be interested in being my motivator. I feel like I could do it if I had someone to chat with and keep me on track. I am sure she would be more than willing to do it. She is awesome like that. My bedroom is sublime. I love it. The only thing I don’t like is the view from the window. It is no fun looking on the neighbors shitty yard. And when I say shitty, I literally mean shitty. They have a Doberman who spends most of her time outside my window…barking. I don’t know that they clean up after her. The a/c will be installed in the next few months so that will drown that out, but still. It is horrible to be almost asleep and then she starts barking. You wake with a start and it takes a while to come down from that.

Still if I can get the house squared away, I think I would be more willing/able to work on school stuff.  Plus I might actually be able to stand in my closet for once.

I have done about an hour’s worth of work the past two days. Maybe two. It is a slow week with not a lot to do. Happens.  I had ice cream for lunch. I sort of feel like a whale. A beached whale. So many bad habits to break. May is a new beginning. That’s what I keep telling myself.

Well I should go. I would like to see the top of my desk before I leave. Time to tame the paper clutter.