NoJoMo 7: Bang Your Head

Yesterday Emma had a birthday party jointly with 2 other girls in her class.  There also was a Halloween theme so everyone dressed up.  Seemed like a success, with one girl even saying she had the best time.  We came up with some games like a toilet papering contest where one girl got mummified.  That was popular and led to toilet paper all over the gym (we are fortunate enough to borrow the gym and kitchen at the school for birthday parties).  And I did the "stick your hand in and feel icky stuff" thing, with spaghetti for intestines, orange peels as skin, grapes in oil for eyeballs and mashed up bananas for mashed up brains.  That was also popular.  And holy crap as I am writing this all down and reading it back to myself, how boring can this be?  I don’t even sound all that engaged talking about it here.  It was a good time though.

I said it before, I used to be funnier.  It used to be a more freewheeling place around here, lots of weird asides and digressions and going off on a tangent, almost a stream of consciousness feel with some sort of Hitchhikers Guide vibe or a Monty Python zany thing going on.  Or, I am not remembering things correctly and I have always been this dull.  Maybe I am just growing up.  Or kids make you boring.  I certainly though my parents were boring when I was a kid, but that may be a distorted view.

I know one thing that went away, all the blowjob talk, was really a consequence of how many times can you talk about blowjobs without repeating yourself?  And when you try to force it and feel like you have to somehow get a blowjob reference into each entry it becomes a chore.  I also didn’t want to make all my male readers jealous about how many BJ’s I get (answer: plenty.  More than a 41 year old man, married almost 12 years could expect.  I am lucky.).  And there, some good old fashioned Zaphod blowjob talk to tide you all over.

If you have anything to add blowjob-wise, or any other-wise, speak up, or ask or whatever else you want to say.

Videos! 

Ok, I said I would start doing a string of entries about my musical past.  So here is episode one: the metal years.  Like most boys growing up in the US in the 70’s, KISS was the ultimate in cool.  Cool painted faces, leather scary costumes, blood, breathing fire…what’s not to love when you are an eight year old boy?

I really don’t like KISS much at all at this point.  

 At one point, I must have been 11 maybe, I went with a friend and his father on a road trip to see Judas Priest.  One of the first concerts I ever went to (the first ever was Journey with a young unknown Bryan Adams opening…with my mom.  I was so cool!).  I remember a fight breaking out right in front of my and I got smacked in the mouth by the back of some greasy dude’s head, which made my braces to impale the inside of my lips.  When, years later, I heard that the singer, Rob Halford came out as gay I looked back and can’t figure out how I didn’t see that coming, with all the leather and motorcycles and what not.  Not that there is anything wrong with that!  Rock on, Rob!

I actually still kind of like that song.  15 years ago I would never dare to admit that but eh, whatever.

For my final parade down embarrassing metal lane: Quiet Riot!  Oh my, I remember playing this in my room over and over and holding an air guitar concert for, well, nobody.  I am pretty sure I thought this was the greatest song ever recorded.  God, I was stupid.  Anyway, enjoy!

I think tomorrow I’ll do a part two.  I got as far as Def Leppard’s "masterpiece" Pyromania in 1983 before I discovered the Dead Kennedys so there are still a couple of real horrible songs to inflict on you all.

See ya’ll tomorrow!

Zaphod