Fuck you.

 

Dear *****,

First of fuck you. I’m so tired of this shit, of this give me a chance Ill prove it to you bullshit. Do you NOT see I have given you SEVERAL chances and you have blown them all. You ask me what’s wrong and when I tell you, you don’t want to hear the answer. Yes its you who has pissed me off to the point that I cry. Yes it IS your fault. I’m sorry I don’t laugh when I hear you say proudly that you’re glad my sister is leaving, yes I KNOW this has been a struggle but IT STILL FUCKING hurts my feeling. Maybe you’re right, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant again, but YOU wanted this. You wanted too.

Dear *********,

Why the hell have you made me so moody this time around. I’m tired having to deal with the other two and was actually glad that this would be a "normal" one but with all the back ache and this diabetes stuff erg. Its really annoying, Id love for you to GET OFF my spine and let me breath again. Yes I know there is only 6 more weeks to go but with dealing with your father….its hard. I’ve been so freaking emotional with all of this I don’t know when to stop and when to start. WHO CARES if we did find out what you are but were not telling. DEAL WITH IT AND DONT RUIN MY DAY BY ASKING ME WHY I WONT SHARE.

Dear ***,

God PLEASE leave already. I’m tired of you trying to take control of MY kids, yes I AM THEIR MOTHER and while I know you try and mean well this whole butting in thing to try to jab one in there is USELESS. Rath or ***** my ass, its HIS PARENTS he should be afraid of upsetting or making mad. NOT YOU. I will handle the discipline with my child. I don’t need your help. Fuck would you just get over it.

Dear *****,

Please child, would you just get the first grade. Stop talking so much when you NOT suppose to. We all know that you are VERY social and while that can be a good thing, your teacher needs to TEACH the class not constantly tell you to sit down, or be quite. You make me sooo proud when you show me that you have done something great and that the teacher let you sit next to her at lunch, although now I’m thinking its because you’re in trouble. Not because you got the most table points.

Dear ******,

Would you just talk already, I cant handle too much more of this screaming and grunting.

Dear ********,

Thank goodness you have found your own place, and am getting back on to your feet. Please just make me proud and don’t let ur dumb ass ex back into your life. You have worked SOOO freaking hard to get back up to where you are now that if he gets involved I cant help anymore. Its ruining my marriage and I’m tired of being the person in the middle. I just want you two to get along….that would be sooo much less stress on me, I wish the two of you would see it.

Dear ***,

Thanks for fucking nothing, I’m the one who put your daughter on the right path and have been there ANYTIME she needed help. I didn’t just leave to pretend that I didn’t have kids from you FIRST marriage. Shes done nothing but use you and turn you against us. I will ALWAYS be resentful. Its a shame that I have a little sister that I almost ALWAYS forget I have, no thanks to you. You left us when we really needed you and the one time I asked for your help, you told me you couldn’t because u needed money for ur closing cost on a house you bought. You didn’t even do that for mom, when that’s all she wanted. Thanks for nothing.

Dear ***,

Why did you have to go. I need you, I still do. I’m sitting here crying because I feel like I don’t have anyone I can turn too…I’m looking out at the clouds wondering how different life would have been had you been able to fight that evil cancer. The grand kids you would have been able to watch. I hate myself everyday for not being able to say goodbye to you, or that I love you and it makes me sick. I’m so angry at myself for moving out instead of helping take care of you…Anyone who has ever met you has said that you were irreplaceable and that dads a fool for thinking he would be able to find someone like you. Mom I need someone that I can talk to and I REALLY wish you were here.

Dear OpenDiary,

For those of you who have me on FB please just keep this to yourself. I’m not in a good mood.