Nothing Special
It’s 1:35 in the morning. I cannot sleep and I couldn’t think of anything better to do. The computer at work gets updated all the time. My phone updates only when there’s WiFi around and is also plugged in. I update my life when I can’t sleep.
This year, the year of 2012, has been very… steady. Maybe it’s my own personal view but I can’t think of where to start.
My weight loss has plateaued. I’m stuck at 132 pounds. I really want to lose eight pounds. My really awkward eating habits of work food and McDonald’s don’t really help. It also probably makes sense that I’m stuck at that weight because I eat about once a day. There are times when I think I have motivation to get up early and do exercises before going to work, buuuut that idea easily gets put to sleep by my pillows.
I’ve been having a hard time waking up (as well as sleeping, obviously). I always am groggy when I leave the door for work and I wish I knew how to fix it. It’s starting to get irritating. No matter how early I may want to sleep so I get adequate amounts of sleep, my body plays tricks. I started sporadically taking melatonin to help with the sleeping problem. It helps, but I don’t want to become dependent on it. I don’t even know if it’s possible to become dependent on something that claims to be natural. 😛
This summer has been brutal. The past few days have been my favorite four days of this summer because they have been cloudy and rainy. I want summer to end. I’m over the sunshine and I’m over the heat. I once heard that there’s a statistic that shows crime rates are higher in the summer than at any other point in time in the year. I’m starting to believe it.
My coworkers tell me I have more of an attitude at work since I became a bartender. I’d like to agree with them. I don’t know if it has to do with my state of mind (which just so happens to NOT be YOLO. Who actually came up with that term? It’s the dumbest trend, the most stupid fad that I’ve ever heard of). Recently I hate going to work. I’m still grateful I have a job and while I’m really awesome at what I do, I can’t help but think that if I was the only one that worked there everything would be perfect.
I’m having difficulties dealing with my coworkers. I see the problem that they don’t see: them. They suck. They hardly pull their weight. I seem to be one of the few people that understand the teamwork concept. There’s one in particular that I can stand just as much as the guy without legs can. All he has to do is open his mouth to say something and I’m breathing heavily to calm myself down.
And it’s always the same with him! I’ve figured out his template:
"[After self reminiscery, insert statement expressing interest and humor in four words or less], [The name of the person you start talking to for emphasis], [Make up a story, something that will make you and your life more appealing to other people, but in reality, you don’t realize that you are a huge liar and are lying to get the attention you will never get. The punchline of the story makes it seem too good to be true, and yet, people still believe you.]"
"It was so funny, Chubert, you should have been there when, my niece today, when I was taking her to day care she screamed "Don’t leave me with these strangers!"
"… And I went up to her and I said, ‘Excuse me ma’am, you’re being facetious’…."
"… My girlfriend’s mother just totally bought me new Nike apparel. Oh yeah? Already? And you guys have been together for three days? Yeah! *insert fake outburst of high-pitched laughter* I know, right?"
"… And my day was like, ‘Son, next time you beat his ass, alright?’…"
"… And one of the ladies at my mom’s book club started talking about the pictures she took at the bar and when she showed them to her she immediately called me…."
"… and when I talked to Andy about it he just said that she’s crazy and that I wasn’t in trouble, then he goes behind my back and writes me up…"
"… and I think she’s after me, Chubert. She’s trying to get me fired…"
"… when I did cocaine I went for a ten mile run in the middle of the night and I couldn’t stop running. My friends were behind me in a car yelling for me to come back home…"
They. Never. Stop.
Because I’m the nicest human in the world I smile and nod, smile and nod. Pricky Mister Muscles ‘N ‘Roids Colter, however, has the ego the size of a douchebag that can clean out a whale’s vagina, and I can’t stand it. His trolly little hands disgust me. His face reminds me of the Baby from the old sitcom The Dinosaurs. He has a literal bird beak for a mouth. His eyes stick out like a gold fish and he looks like Rodney Dangerfield with facial ticks from all the "supplements" he takes. I’d much rather listen to screeching nails on a chalkboard through earbuds 24/7 than to hear him speak to me.
He threw a fit when he was passed over as the new bartender. He couldn’t even look at me when he found out I was next to be trained. I found it amusing. I really thought he was going to try and sabotage my job. That’s how ridiculous he got. He yelled at the managers, all at the same time and individually, and I’m sure to some of my coworkers too. Everyone agrees, though, that I got the job because I’m not him. The managers told me the same thing.
I like being me when things like this happen. It shows that I’m doing something right. Recently I was told that one of my managers really likes me because of my work ethic and how I treat the people that I work with. What were the actual words used? I don’t know, but "He seriously L-O-V-E-S you" was how it was described to me. Chubert 1, everyone else, fuck you. 🙂
Especially you, Colter, Go be the brokeback cowboy redneck fuck we all know you are. 😀
That’s all. I think I’m ready for bed now.
Maybe all I needed was a little rant.
I’ll be back soon, Peaches. I promise.
P.S. Happy 8th birthday a couple of weeks ago. 🙂