Wow
Sometimes we overestimate people. Grief is ackward for everyone involved, especially to those who are not grieving who try to be in the lives of someone who is. We have all stepped away from someone else’s grief, it’s not fun. You don’t know what to say, what to do, what you are up against. Sometimes it is just as simple as you are not in a place to be of much help, not strong enough to be surrounded by it. It is powerful, and frankly scary.
The shelf life is surprisingly short. The concern and basic consideration fades faster than you can blink an eye.
Another thing you notice is the world keeps on spinning. Nothing stops, nothing slows down, nothing eases off.
People will either amaze or completely disappoint you.
You pick and choose who you let in your life, share personal details with, open up to. You are either glad you did, or decide to not do it again.
I’ve been amazed by a hanful of people this week. Not so much in some others.
Some people will never understand, I just need to learn that.
May I suggest the following http://www.resolve.org check out the support and serivices section.
I don’t know why infertility is something we have to suffer so silently with, but I am not brave enough right now to speak up.
Until Next time
later
I have a “friend” at work who is always saying things like, “when you have a baby, expect this (bad behavior, spitting up, no sleep, etc)”. It’s constant. And shortly after she started doing it, I realized she was doing it because she’s threatened by me and has the one thing I want most in the world. When I told her the new doctor we work with is our age, she said “well, *I* have a baby!!!”
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I told her “you do realize that I don’t have a baby either, right?” And she tried to make up for her inconsiderate comment by saying that sometimes she wishes she didn’t have a baby. Are you kidding me? Ugh. Personally, I think she’s a true narcissist. Or has no common sense. Probably both. Anyway, I understand what you mean. I think that people who don’t have to worry about our condition…
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Can’t really understand the full spectrum of thoughts and emotions we go through. Some of them are sympathetic and comforting, while others choose not to understand how infertility really does affect our lives so much. The girl I work with doesn’t give a ****. She has repeatedly offered to be a surrogate for me and then she would follow it up by saying “I bet it would be so hard seeing…
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…another woman carrying your baby, feeling it kick, getting hiccups. Those were my favorite things about having a baby” Every damn time. She smokes pot, cigarettes, drinks, and drives under the influence with her 1.5yr old daughter around. Please tell me why I would even consider her an option if surrogacy was what I wanted to do!! I am truly disgusted by her and it is so hard not to punch her.
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No one could do anything right for me at the time. If they asked about it, I wanted to be left alone. If they didn’t I thought they were callous. There was no winning.
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You summed it up nicely. There’s a lot of truth here. Hope you’re doing better each day.
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Ryn- Thank you! I wish the company understood people don’t want associates up their butts! I say hello to people just to let them know I’m there to help them if they need it but they are ADULTS and if they need help, they are ADULT enough to ask for it without me swooping in and getting all up in their biznatch, ya feel me? R: I’m glad you’re better. Of course, I wish it didn’t…
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…end up like that but as you said, now you know you’re stuff works and it can happen and it will happen again. I’ve always admired your resiliency. How did your husband take it?
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Infertility is truely a silent grief. The most painful part is even if you can/start to openly talk about it…unless others have gone through it they will never see or take seriosly the extent of your grief and sorrow. We are out there but no one will know how bad it hurts every day. We make others uncomfortable because they don’t know how to react.
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