A NUMBING DOWN

Joleen. November 1979.  Poem: Princess Daihaku.

I had an eight thirty appointment for a CT scan this morning.  After it was done, I stopped in to see the Captain.  She was still there.  She was still heavily drugged as her pain is terrible.

Jo’s pain was terrible too.  They left Jo at home, as drugged as they could in those days.  We talked on the phone, I visited, I received updates from friend Don.  All this eerily familiar today.

They want to move Poolie home, but any movement creates agony.  There she stays in stasis.  She is a wonderful friend….not the special friend that Jo was for me, but wonderful.  Pam and her daughter were there.  Later her sister and niece will stay for hours.  Pam’s in tears…they have that special closeness.  They have asked for no visitors.  We are allowed, Pam said.

I came home numb.

I came home numb.  Later I looked at pictures of some long gone special friends and made myself more even more deadened.