Losing My Touch

I’ve gotten a B+ on every single peice of work I’ve done this semester. I know I sound like a total nerd to be whining about that but in the grad school world that translates to a 3.3. And with everything so cuthtroat that’s just NOT good enough. B+ = nonplussed. I ;m working hte same way I always have, only now it’s getting me B’s instead of A’s. I’m losing my touch. Even got a B+ on my substance abuse paper. I think I can still pull that class up to an A-. And then the thing that REALLY sent me into a tail spin. That fucking psychopatholgy exam, the one that was totaly rigged agianst us but that I thought I’d perservered and kicked the everlovin shit out of. Turns out there were another 2 or 3 questions on the bakc page that i just plain didn’t see. 8-10 points down the drain! I was pracitically crying when Yana told me yesterday. But she said there were a bunch of other ppl who made the same mistake. So maybe something will happen to make it ok. I’m gonna go talk with the prof before class today.

God, this is what my life is reduced to. In the grand scheme of things this is uttlerly pointless to be stressing over. This is the only thing going on in my life that i have to talk about. How pathetic.

Today I tried to take care of some administrative bullshit at school. Turned in my housing form and found out that if I try to get a bigger room I run a big risk of losing the room I already have. So I decided to go with the devil I know and just stay where I am. I’m tired of moving my shit back and forth. I think Donna might be moving a couple floors up next year. Oh, and we have a new surprise roomate. Again!!! Deniz had said that her friend was looking to sublet her old room. But i thought she meant over the summer. Apparently she meant now and agian I didn’t find out I had a new roomate til she’d already fucking moved in. I told them I was annoyed. Deniz swears she already told me and maybe I did misunderstand. Erika apologized. There’s really nothing else I can do now. I don’t really mind having her here and i don’t have the heart to kick her out on the street (though I legitimately could!) it’s the priniciple of the thing. When i got the subletter I let them know over a month in advance and they all got to meet him etc. But other than voicing my pissed off ness, collecting my portion of her rent, or kicking her out on the street there’s nothing I can do at this point. It’s just not worth it to me to have a huge fight over it. But I am defintley annoyed….

I also went ot financial aid today to find out about my missing award letter. They said they haven’t evne begun to look at award letters for continuing students and that they’d go out by the end of may. That’s not what they told me in the letter. Dumbasses! Right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing!!! But that part’s actually a relief cause i was late filling out the stupid FAFSA and I thought that’s why I hadn’t gotten an award letter and was panicked that I lost what little compensation these money gurbbing bastards had given me. So now I can sign my student aid report and hopefully get SOME money back from these ppl. If my GPA is still high enough. But i think 4.0 + 3.3 divided by 2 is high enough to equal money.

Ok, I’m done ranting. Sometimes you just really need to throw yourself a pity party. And now it’s time to get moving again and read yet more about the wonders of schizophrenia.

Steph