How awful goodness is…

Odd assortment of thoughts and emotions this christmas morning. It’s a stew of something, most definitely not ready for serving…but, as it usually goes, by the time that point is nigh I really don’t feel like eating it anymore. So, it’s premature or nothin’ at all! Hope it doesn’t make us sick. How can one’s best intentions turn out such diabolical ends? This riddle baffles me. Too much selfish thinking, and selfless feeling. Harmony of emotion, rather than reality; a cheerleader for every sports team there is. Works fine, until three teams approach me at once for a hug, oblivious of the other. Why are you hanging out with them, they ask? Because, I say, and I explain why. They look at me like a stranger– or worse, a terrorist– someone who has lied to them all along. This, of course, couldn’t be farther from the truth. But how could they be made to understand such a thing? Understanding just comes, or it doesn’t. One can’t force it, and the end result is that I ended up damaging the exact thing I sought to protect. Neil Young’s been stuck in my head all morning; I want to live, I want to give, I’ve been a miner for a heart of gold– it’s these expressions I never give, that keep me searching. Heart doesn’t cut it, Neil. Mind of gold is just as important. I know Stevie Nicks thinks that you aught to play it the way you feel it, but you’ve got to THINK I tell you! Ok, shutting this diatribe down for the meantime. Be sure to tune in next week.