Beauty in the Free Fall

I used to work in a diner when I was younger. In the kitchen, cooking up whatever people wanted to eat. The place was attempting to be a little classier than it was, and as such I had to be quite careful how I presented each plate when I was finished cooking the meal. At first, I was very careful and deliberate…arranging everything on the plate in a neat symmetrical pattern before passing it off to the waitresses…but one day my boss interrupted me, and showed me the error of my ways.

No, no, no! You can’t force it to look nice like that…it looks like shit. Here. And he took the pan of food I had in hand, ready to move to another plate, and just sort of let it plop down, almost carelessly. Then, without much concern, he grabbed a handful of whatever topped it off and just sort of tossed it on. It’s all about the free fall, my boy, all about the free fall…

And he was right. The plates without much conscious effort looked much better than the ones I had agonized over. Now, they weren’t just tossed on there like drunken fool…but the degree of impulse involved was at least equally balanced with the overhead thought system that prevented it from being too careless, and it accomplished the perfect aesthetic form for a plate of food…among other things.

That one tiny piece of advice is almost all I can remember from that job, but it has always stuck with me. Something in the universal truth behind it. The form of the advice itself even perfectly imitated it’s content…impulsively passed on to me without much thought, but accurate and nearly flawless in and of itself. There is a point in manifesting beauty, in which one’s conscious efforts must stop…and random chance must take over the rest.

Or visa versa…

*very pleased grin*

It may have taken me 10+ years to get the hang of the ‘free fall’, better late than never. When are you going to put all this in a book of Gabriel’s anecdotes? It needs to happen. You’ll be independently wealthy overnight.

It does only seem fair, of course. You show me yours, I’ll show your mine. But being that you’re far away. I’m far away. There are some logistical problems. Guess I’ll have to be satisfied with reading these entries, eh? I’ll keep it on my wish list, though. 😉

You make a very valid point. And why worry about logistics anyway? I recently read somewhere there’s beauty in the free fall. 😉 But on that note, I am curious about one or two (or ten or 15) things about you. Such as, do you have a name? Mine is Babette (it’s as equally a part of my external persona as my gooey center). You don’t have to give me your real name if you don’twant. I just want stop calling you Bob (because that’s the name I made up for you). Unless that is your name. Oh, and now I can’t stop thinking of how much I really like getting to the gooey center. Thanks. 😉

Well, hello there, can I buy you a drink sometime? Maybe take you out to a movie? 😉 You look a little like I pictured (though, picturing people on here is a bit like trying to remember an unknown face from a dream). Including the elusiveness of the second, and the image of spontaneity in the third. Thank you, for showing me yours. I’d wanted to ask, but haven’t asked anyone on the internets if they have a “pic” in so long, I felt silly broaching the subject. You saved me the awkwardness I’d have surely felt. And now, I at least have the head to go with the words. My mom once threw muffins at a woman for calling me Babs. True story. Now I encourage everyone to call me Babs, even though I like Babette better. I’m not sure I’ll ever lose that little defiant streak. Oh well. I’ve always felt no other name would suit me like mine does. I know exactly what you mean, but I really lucked out. If there’s one thing I can say for my slightly crazy mother is that she really hit the nail on the head with that one. I was named after my grandfather’s best friend’s mother. A crotchety old German woman who moved to the states when my mother was 5 & too

…My mother knew since she was 5 that she would grow up to have a daughter named Babette. She had to go through a couple of boys first, but eventually she had me. And the United States of America had it’s 3rd ever Babette. You look like a Gabriel. You really look like a Gabe. Much more than the last guy I knew with that name. He looked like a John or a Tim, like his name should be as common as him. Anyway, I’m rambling, sorry. ‘Tis late & I should be sleeping, but insomnia has been rearing it’s ugly head lately.

What do you want to trade? I have one of me dressed up as a ninja. No nipples are showing, but my skirt is really short. Because, you know, ninjas wear short skirts. Then again, I do have plenty of cameras. I could take a picture of something for you. I bet I could even find a nipple somewhere (that is if you’re looking for a like-for-like exchange). It’s less insomnia and more a restless mind. Something I’ve always struggled with, but have really trained my mind to calm down at bed time, as well as how to change what I’m dreaming about (I also have a lot of nightmares) so as to sleep better. But some nights are worse than others. Yes, sleep is very important.

So hot! http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4005/4327058768_2d84052a31.jpg Fishnets and everything. Yeah, I’d have to agree with all of what you said. But, I’d like to think I’m fairly content with my life, but as is the case with most people, I always have a craving for something more. But maybe that’s not what you meant. I don’t really have much weighing on me, other than as you said, menial tasks. My laundry needs to be finished, my bathroom cleaned, bedroom dusted. I need to file my taxes. But other than those little things, everything appears to be perfectly in place. It could be mostly my job right now. There are equal levels of stress & excitement. Stress over quarter one changes. Excitement over my performance & the recognition I’m getting for it. Maybe it’s that there isn’t an underlying disquiet? There haven’t had many times in my life where I didn’t have an underlying disquiet. Like wearing new shoes, maybe it just feels different. Hmm.

*subdued applause and a wry wink* But, really, Bravo. Though, it does sound as if you might be writing from experience…but as to which gentleman you might be, I can can only wonder… (I kid, I kid) I do enjoy it ever so much when you come out and play.

I’ve made enough bad decisions to last a life time. I could stand a few risky decisions, or maybe some really intense decisions. I think that would do the trick nicely. Get my heart rate up, you know. But on that, there’s a lot of validity in what you say, but I think it goes a little deeper. I was born into chaos (familiar story). It’s all I’ve ever really known. By the time I was of an accountable age, I found myself playing my own life out in the same way. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began to realize significant, and painfully obvious things about my behavior and started to consciously make different, better choices. I could go on and on, I suppose, but I guess bottom line is I’m just not used to what it’s like when I stop acting so irrationally & ridiculously. And now my life is just coasting along. I think there’s an ingrained fear that something will snap eventually. Or that I’ll tumble. Or something. Does that make sense?

Haha, that’s how I roll. No, I haven’t seen Moon yet. I’m excited to. The previews look great. The offspring of Davey Jones can’t go wrong.