How to Love Unconditionally

Not to be confused with unconditional love, loving unconditionally only comes after a conscious choice to do so has been made regarding a particular individual or force. Ideally the choice shouldn’t be necessary, and a love of all things should flow through someone like a good mood, but unfortunately Zen is tricky and difficult, so for now we’ll just take some baby steps in the right direction.

What I want to log is indeed a simple how, rather than a why, where, who, or what. At present I won’t be weighing elements that contribute to why the choice to do so should be made for which types of people, but it should be known that choice is the first step; often unconsciously made, or for the wrong reasons, but always for a person or element that is perceived to have significant value…for value, I believe, is the foundation of love.

Instead of identifying people by what they do, and consequentially setting ideal standards based only in action, while ignoring or belittling the mind behind it, identify a person by who they actually are, and everything that they do from that perspective will make sense as long as it’s true to them. If you love someone for what they are, and for their potential stemming from that (while understanding the "negative" potential actions that automatically come with the positive ones), then you can love someone forever, on a much more grounded, objective, and permanent angle. If you love some one for what they do, even things they do for you, it won’t last, and true love is meant to be immortal.

I don’t think most people love people for what they do for them. I think they assess how the other must love THEM by what that person does for them…you know what I mean? I’ve never loved anyone for what they did for me, I simply am astounded by who they are..the only reason I like what they do for me is because it reminds me that the feelings just may be reciprocal. which may not be…

…all that healthy either, I need reassurance all the time, to make up for past rejections..it’s like a video game, you know where you collect little hearts, then they get taken away…that’s what rejection is like….but the past scars never really go away …I don’t know what I’m saying. but you say smart things. ..”for value , I believe, is the foundation of love”…..that’s exactly….

…I don’t know if anybody has ever said that before trying to define the hardest word to define since irony…but you should claim that phrase for your own…..this is also a good thing for you to remember that you discovered yourself when you are struggling to understand women. Love makes women feel valued, and every broken heart not only takes the value away, but it leaves them in debt…

…of value. so essentially every true love, every man a woman loses, for whatever reason, usually takes more energy than he gives, and leaves a woman’s heart deflated and her self esteem below sea level. Maybe it’s totally irrational, but it’s just the way we work, so please don’t tell me (or any woman) it’s irrational, but that’s one of the most condescending things you can ever say to a …

…woman. And I feel like the only thing that can combat a woman’s low self esteem besides finding another true love that treats her like a queen….is just the simple actions by non-romantic males in her life that treat her like an equal…because that is like much more steady….love is like a rollercoaster, even if it is great and nothing ever goes wrong (which of course never happens)…

…But when a woman (or even a young girl because that’s where it all starts) is treated as an equal by guy friends/her father, stepfather, uncles, brothers, brother figures, cousins, collegues, whatever….that’s like a much more steady thing and it won’t shoot up her self esteem nearly as fast as romantic love but depending on how much the male figure means to her, it will steadily and surely…

…keep building her self worth, and the good thing is, barring some horrible falling out where dad, or grandpa, whoever, totally disowns her and calls her names and consciously takes back that validation…even if there are heated arguments as with any loved ones from time to time, still, no one can take that self worth away. I don’t mean that dad’s and grandpa’s should treat their little…

…girls as equals as in not being authority figures…but I just mean to never devalue woman in front of them and never tell them they can’t do something they dream about doing cause they are a girl. Because if you don’t give them that then they’ve got a hell of a battle ahead of them, no matter if men are all really pigs, or women are just irrational, or not, or whatever.

…because the validation they get from men in romantic love will inevitably be taken away again and again even if they are really lucky in love and end up with a great guy, their soulmate if you believe in that thing, and he treats her really great.