Argh…

Good morning people. What’s going on? Nothing really here, watching some TV and drinking some coffee. I’m at my brother’s today as we all know (or not). My head hurts today. Not just the normal facial nerve pain, today it’s my whole head. Blah. I hate this stupid disease.

I changed my introduction thing on FB. It says:

*+:If you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best:+

I’m 29 years old, live on Tucson, have an amazing Boyfriend (Randy) who has been with me for over a year and has been the best thing to happen to me.

I am a 15 year Migraine Sufferer. It is a disease that you cannot see on the surface but lies deep within my being and is a part of me I wish I didn’t have to endure. Please be patient with me as most of the time I am in pain and may not be the person you once knew. Pain changes people. Keep that in mind. Just because my outward appearance seems fine doesn’t mean I actually am.

I wish to get to know lots of people who can become a sort of support group for me and I for them.

It’s annoying using the non-wysiwyg editor thing on OD. For some reason it’s not working. oh well. I was also going to try and ugrade my OD because there’s “hidden” ads that play music and shit that I don’t want to deal with. UGH, so annoying, but the order page isn’t working either apparently. blah. I swear somethings never change.

Anywhoot. I’m still trying to get through to DES so I can see about my damn foodstamps. I submitted all the paperwork and it just says “pending”. Then when I try calling them, I get put on hold for an hour and once that hour is up, they hang up on me so I have to call back. I’m probably gonna go Friday and just sit in the office for 5 hours like last time so I can see what the fuck is going on. We need some food! Luckily we have stocked up stuff but it’s only going to last us a little bit.

BLAH!

So uhm yeah. I dunno what else there is to say. Randy wants to go see The Princess Bride in the theater on Sunday. Well he’s going to have to go by himself because I will be babysitting. Urgh. Oh well. I guess that will be fun. meh lol.

Does anyone that was with me a while back remember me talking about Josh? He’s a guy I met in October of 2011 when I first moved to the place with the loft. Anyway i’ll just have to remind you all. I met him in one of the Yahoo Chat rooms and we talked for a good while. Well he constantly claimed that he wanted to fuck my brains out and that he would make me cum nonstop and that he liked big girls (like me) and all of that.

I offered to go to his place several times and also invited him over several times. Well he never said yes to any of that, so I was like whatever dude, your loss. So over the course of the last two years, I’ve talked to him on and off. When I met Randy obviously everything went out the window as far as that goes. One of the times actually before I met Randy (way before) I was there at the movies with David and Josh kind of stopped and looked at us. it was an awkward moment because David didn’t know WTF was going on.

Then when I went to see The Hobbit with my parents and Randy, Josh was there in the Concession area and he just kind of stood next to the person that was helping us and stared at us again. I was like ugh this is uncomfortable. and I told Randy “that guy that’s standing right there staring at us, I almost hooked up with him last year” lmao. he was like wtf really? hahaha. omg.

Anyway, I messaged him a little bit ago, probably about 2 or 3 months ago cuz I saw he was online and so I chatted with him a bit. it’s pretty boring, but very nerdy and obviously a big movie buff (because he manages that theater) and so we generally talk about random shit like movies and whatnot. In fact last night when I messaged him, we were watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets…and he said he was listening to the audio book of Part one of the Deathly Hallows lol.

We have stuff in common but mostly he’s just interested in sex. But I told him he missed his chance. Two years ago he had the chance. And he was like yeah I know. We flirt and tease but I know how he is so I told him I would suck him off, knowing FULL WELL that he would not budge and expect me to do everything to make it happen. So I told him, Monday. Of course, just as I thought…Monday rolled around and there was no Hide nor Hair of him. I just had to laugh because he has not changed at ALL.

So yesterday I saw him online and we were talking and I was like so yeah, about Monday. His exact words were “Oh, I didn’t get a message from you, so I just slept all day”. I was like mmmhmm likely story. I told him “If you were really interested in it, you would have taken the initiative to message me. Oh well”.

Douchnozzle. I wouldn’t have done anything with him had he actually contacted me. I just wanted to basically prove a point. to who? I am not sure, but yeah, point proven. lol. anyway, that’s that.

I want to go buy nail stuff so I can do my nails, but I don’t have the money for that at the moment. I need like $40 to get everything that I need. maybe soon. I had to use the gift card that my brother and sharla gave us for Christmas for food and then Randy paid for a Sports Illustrated subscription that comes with Madden 25. Blah. I was kinda like ehhh about using the gift card for that, but I was just like whatever. The rest we’ve used for food since our foodstamps haven’t come in.

sigh One of these days i’ll be able to buy something for myself and not feel guilty about it. urgh. I’m not sure WHEN that will happen, but I hope soon. the nail stuff is something that I don’t necessarily NEED but I WANT it and I would like to be able to buy it just because. it would be much cheaper that way than going to a nail salon all the time.

Oh well. I guess I just gotta sacrifice shit for other shit. Also my Starbucks Gift card. I have $15 on it and I am not going to use it. I want to add funds to it little by little until I have like $50 on it and then use it sparingly. Randy keeps saying I should get something from there because he wants to try the Butterbeer (secret recipe from Harry Potter). But I haven’t gotten anything yet. meh.

Hmmm. Alrighty well I guess I am going to go now. This entry is stupidly long and I apologize. There’s another long entry one back if you want to bore yourself to death. hah. ok, later.