10/31/2013

Happy Halloween!!! =)

I’m sooooooo tired from working all this overtime!!! I’ve been working 6-6 every day…but I have an hour commute each way. So that means to leave my house at 5, I have to wake up at 4:30. Then I don’t get home until 7. It SUCKS!!! I am not letting myself spend my OT money on anything except my credit card bills. I am DETERMINED to get this taken care of one way or another. =/ I’m so tired of stressing about it and being so, so broke. I don’t get paid until next Friday and I’m not even sure how I will afford gas next week. I really don’t want to have to ask my parents to lend me money so I may just have to let my account overdraw =(

I have also decided no more going OUT for awhile. I’m not going to let myself go out again until Nov. 30 when there is a warehouse party. I am missing quite a few things between now and then but that’s the sacrifice I have to make. I’ll be working a lot anyway so I’m sure I won’t feel like doing much. I will still hang out with my friends at their houses and stuff but that’s it.

Last night I texted Alex asking him how the warehouse party was that he went to on Saturday. He didn’t reply. GO FIGURE…story of my life. Guess that answers that one for me…

Rob from NC will be here tomorrow evening. I will most likely do something with him Saturday night. His sister’s wedding is NEXT Saturday but I guess I’m not going to that anymore. Since we’ve been fighting so much it kinda seemed like he didn’t want me to go anymore so finally yesterday I asked him what he told his family about the wedding (he had already told them a few weeks ago that he was bringing me). He said he told them I wasn’t going anymore because he didn’t think he would be able to give me the attention he should since he’d be busy with family. Good reasoning I guess and while I’m a little sad I’m somewhat relieved that I don’t have to deal with it. I told him I do not want to be in a long distance relationship. He is looking for jobs around here so he can be closer to his sister and other family again. I told him if he does come back here maybe we can try things, but I dunno. He’s pretty bad about communicating and I think that’s a very important part of a relationship.

Come to think of it all guys seem really bad at communicating. Sometimes I think I need to just let things go and maybe that’s why I can never find anyone. I know I can be a little crazy…but shouldn’t there be someone out there who can handle me and talk me out of it? I don’t know. I can’t believe I’m 28 years old and this is my life… =/ All I can do is keep trying to improve myself and get my debt paid off.

I’m so sick of guys only being interested in my looks. Honestly it makes me so sad. I just don’t get it. I’m always good enough to flirt with and sleep with but never anything else. I know I should just stop sleeping with guys but I can’t help it sometimes. And I always think "Maybe this time will be different"…I’M SUCH AN IDIOT!!! =(

What if the right one never comes along? What if Nick was the right one…and now he’s gone? =( Bleh.

No more pity party.

It’s Halloween so I should be happy.

Really I’m just so sleepy all I want to do is sleep for an entire day. 2 more days of work after this and I can finally relax again.