09/11/2013

Where to start?

I guess I last wrote on Friday.  Friday night I ended up texting Justin and asking him if he wanted to come out to Grace’s Saturday and shoot guns.  He said yes and seemed really excited about it!  He said he would text me when he woke up so he could come out!  Then when I was at work Sat. I got a text from him saying he forgot he had to play in a golf tournament.  Boo =(  So I told him he could come out afterwards if he wanted.  I figured he’d be really drunk after golfing all day though so I wasn’t really counting on it.  He finally texted me again at like 9 p.m. saying he was really out of it (I guess drunk?) and he told me he golfed really well so that was cool.  I told him he could still come out if he wanted and he said him and his friends were about to start playing beer pong but that we could all come out there!  HAh…I wish…and I couldn’t just leave Grace’s party to go there so yeah…we just didn’t hang out.  He texted me Sunday afternoon while he was working.  Then I got in a big fight with my mom and stupidly told him/complained to him about it.  We talked about how much living at home sucks, etc…and I have not heard from him since then.  Oh and while we were having our bitchfest about living at home he sent me a picture of something that said, I FEEL YOU BRO…BROOOOOOOO?!?!?!  Obviously I am in the FRIEND ZONE! ='(  I mean…he dated Miss fucking Illinois for SIX YEARS, he can have anyone he wants, why would he want ME? =(

Anyway.  I shot someone’s rifle and a very tiny handgun on Saturday.  I refused to shoot Grace’s shotgun as I was too scared of the kick back from it.  =/  Maybe next time.  Besides that we BBQ’d and drank lots.  Had a bonfire once it got dark. James was there, but we didn’t really talk.  It was kind of awkward.  Also, this guy that I had talked to at one of Grace’s other fires, Rob, was there.  He showed up with some chick which was super weird.  The last time I saw him, which was the first time I met him…I was super drunk and we sat by the fire and talked forever.  Eventually I MADE him come inside with me to lay down and I ended up passing out right away…that was the night I fell asleep in the living room and woke up in a total different room! HAH!  So anyway (I know my writing is way out of order and makes no sense…sorry) the chick he was with left to go to the gas station and he came up to me and asked me what happened to me that night and said he tried finding me on facebook but couldn’t.  He said it was only his 2nd date with the chick and he wasn’t really digging her.  He made me add him to facebook and asked me if he could take me out to dinner sometime! 

Rob messaged me on facebook on Sunday and asked for my number.  We texted a bit Sunday and on Monday.  Then yesterday he texted me and asked if he could take me to dinner last night.  I said yes, so we went to Olive Garden.  Afterwards we went to his place and played zombies on xbox and drank some twisted teas.  Made out a lot, but all I could think about was how different it was from making out with Justin……..fuck =/  I do like Rob though.  He’s a super nice guy.  But he’s not my type AT ALL.  He is a cowboy boot wearing, big truck driving, country music listening guy!  I’m trying not to let that stop me though, because we do get along and I had a lot of fun with him.  So we’ll see…I know he’s really into me, so at least that’s cool.

This entry is all over the place, my apologies…my brain is just on overload now.

Oh yeah…my car died on Monday!  It has done that 2x before when I was backing out, but this time it died as I was turning onto my parent’s street.  I’ve had my mom’s car the past 2 days and my dad is taking me this week to go look for a new car…I really can’t afford/don’t want to do that right now but I have no choice.  It would be silly to put money into my old car to fix whatever is wrong with it.

So yeah…lots going on.  I’ve been pretty depressed the past few days, but I’m trying to get out of it.

Lots of adjustments going on in my life right now. =/

Let me end this with a moment to remember September 11, 2001…the day that changed many people’s lives.  Had it not been for 9/11 there never would have been the war that killed my boyfriend in 2003.  I miss you and love you Nick…thank you for sacrificing your life for us.  I know you were doing what you always wanted to do.. <3